Checkmate (BuckyBarnes x OC)

10 Years

"So you decided to join SHIELD after that mission?"

Natasha spent almost an hour explaining to me what happened since the Red Room, after she and Steve took me to the lab to check out my injuries. After they patched up a few minor ones I had we, along with Sam who joined us again, sat back down on the sofas.

Natasha's story was very painful to listen. Apparently she was recognized as a threat to national security by SHIELD and ended up joining them after one of their agents was sent to eliminate her. I was happy for her, though I felt slightly disturbed knowing that if the agency wouldn't protect her, the soldiers of the Red Room would surely come after her because she defected. I didn't envy her anymore. She remembered everything that happened to her there and I didn't as a result of constant brainwashing. She told me that we've known eachother since she was recruited at the same time as I was, though she was 4 years older than me. I was recruited when I was only 3 years old. A revelation fell upon me that I've never even had a normal life or a normal family. I didn't even know who my family was. After I asked her about it she told me my father is Garry Kasparov, a world famous chess player. They recruited me because they assumed I inherited his intelligence, his sense of logic and quick thinking. And as Natasha told me, I was apparently the best of their assassins. I carried out and even led many successful expeditions. Apparently I've travelled the world. Too bad I don't remember any of it. Even though I was their most powerful asset they sent me away and in 2004, when I was only 16, they transfered me to Hydra, where they named me Red Sparrow as a mix of my origin training facility and my surname. I never questioned it before, but it made much more sense now. That happened 10 years ago. After that I never saw Natasha again. Well, at least up to this point and she never found out what happened to me there. She didn't have anyone to turn to about it. If she would suddenly start asking about her long lost friend that was now Hydra they would probably think she wants to defect again and would sent her to evaluation.

Natasha nodded, "It was the best decision I ever made." She looked over to Steve who was sitting next to me, still alert, but a bit more relaxed. She smiled to him and he returned the smile to her as well. She told me his story too, of how he was a soldier in WW2 and how he was pulled from ice a few years back after being frozen for almost 70 years. I imagined it wasn't easy for him either. It was probably like being sent through a time machine. And he was stuck with war horrors too.

I reminisced about me and Natasha's time spent together back at the Red Room. I couldn't and never wanted to remember much, but after she explained briefly what happened memories started slipping back. I remembered first seeing her, her taking my hand and assuring me everything will be okay. I remembered our first night there, I knew I had a bad dream and I ran to her frightened. She would always caress my hair and kept telling me stories until I fell back asleep. I remembered telling her that I would get a little sister soon and when I asked her if she had any, she said, "I already have one."

She was my only friend. We fought and trained together in our teenage years. As much as this place taught us to be competitive, to never let our guard down, I promised her that I would never hurt her. She did the same. We could never show our true feelings to eachother, the soldiers there were ruthless. We could only share monotone words and glances to know that we can trust eachother. That I have her and she has me. I was devastated when I had to leave her and it was even harder when I had to put my stone face on. I waved her once last goodbye when one of the soldiers injected insulin in my neck and I fell asleep. I remember they did this to us everytime we went on a mission outside the building, so we wouldn't know the exact location of the facility. Afterwards they woke us up with electroshock guns that not only brought us from sleep, but also gave us the boost we needed to execute the mission.

I felt a few lumps in my throat and I was barely breathing. Why was I associating with the enemy, when my target was sitting right next to me? Why didn't I just blow myself away? I was biting my nails. I didn't even know what I was supposed to do with all of this new information. Should I even go back and search for Hydra? Do I wish to find the place I used to call my home? What happens if I never go back? What happens if I do?