Insomniac//KNJ

Chapter Five//Fragile

      Lucy didn't have to wonder whether Namjoon loved her or not. She could tell he did. It was ingrained in even the smallest things he did. His words, his expressions, his gestures. Every move and every action showed him that he loved her.

It was painful the degree to which he loved her.

It was frightening.

And it was fragile. 

Lucy knew all of this, and it scared her out of her wits. This insane love she'd found with this extraordinary person wasn't realistic. It wasn't what her family had planned for her. It wasn't what she had planned for herself. 

She was reminded of this each and every time Namjoon reached for her hand in the grocery store, or when her mother called as she sat in his studio, or when she was called away for a last-minute meeting at her agency. 

Namjoon hadn't been included in a single one of her painstakingly planned ambitions, and there wasn't room for space inside of her that his love took up. 

Lucy had been set on her career path since she had turned eight years old. Her parents, wealthy second-generation immigrants, had enrolled her in ballet classes. Since that point, she'd always worked towards being the best, the brightest, the first, and not just in ballet. If it wasn't in dancing, it was school, or voice lessons, or piano, or karate. Her parents always made sure she had the best, and in return, they expected her to be the best. 

In their eyes, as the owners of successful clothing stores, in order to reap the greatest benefit, you had to be the greatest. You had to outshine the competition in order to draw proper attention. They'd done it as individuals, and they'd done it as business owners, in their minds, it was their only daughter's turn. 

They wanted her to succeed and to find her happiness. 

So, they pushed her to be the best. 

It hadn't been awful, most of the time she hadn't even realized that things were different for her than they were for other children. 

Sometimes though, when she watched all of her friends scamper off to the playground together as she waited for her mother to pick her up for dance practice, she wished things were different. 

Of course, those moments had always been fleeting, after all, she'd been taught that her success was the most important thing. 

All of the sacrifices, hinged on that success. 

Now, Lucy was in training under one of the largest entertainment companies in South Korea. She was in a group of five. Lucy had heard about the cut-throat competition of the Korean entertainment industry, and she'd definitely experienced it. 

She'd always been the best in her classes and studios, but here, she wasn't the best. She was placed in a very large pool of talent. 

It didn't matter how much hard work she put in, her company wouldn't debut her. 

Their group didn't work well together, almost every practice ended in a quarrel. Each and every time the team had a meeting to discuss the technical details of their debut and career, Lucy felt the committees were going in circles, 

It was in one such meeting that Lucy sat in the afternoon after Taehyung had confronted her. Her group's manager was droning on about progress reports and group squabbles when he suddenly shifted gears and caught Lucy's attention.

"The company is beginning to have its doubts about this grouping," the man sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "If the appropriate progress is not made in the next few weeks, you will be disbanded and go back to being solo trainees until the company can allocate your talents properly." There was a pause in which all five petite women became slack-jawed and doe-eyed. Seeing the surprise and fear on their faces caused their manager's face to soften uncharacteristically. "I'm sorry about these girls, but my hands are tied in this situation."