Insomniac//KNJ

Chapter Seven//If Only

Namjoon paced in his apartment's living room, his mind racing. Taehyung stood a few steps in front of the couch he'd vacated as soon as Namjoon had entered the room in his flustered state. 

"Namjoon, say something!" Taehyung pleaded as his older friend frowned silently.

"I found the song," he muttered. 

"What? I can't hear you," Taehyung shook his head and frowned.

"Lucy stole the song. I heard it playing on the radio." Namjoon's tone was flat and detached, but Taehyung knew better than to think his friend was indifferent to the ordeal.

"Are you certain?" Taehyung began, but Namjoon shook his head violently his brown eyes flashing with slight frustration. 

"Yes, Taehyung, I checked. The song was released yesterday under the name Lucy Song," Namjoon turned to face the windows, away from Taehyung. "It's her." 

"I, I'm so sorry Namjoon," Taehyung's shoulders slumped and he took a few more steps toward Namjoon, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Is there anything we can do to get it back?" 

"No. There isn't." Namjoon pulled himself away, still keeping his expression hidden from Taehyung's line of sight. "I don't have any copyrights or reservations on it. It was up for grabs in a sense." Namjoon walked over to the couch and sat down heavily, leaving Taehyung standing alone by the windows. "I just didn't think my girlfriend would be the one to claim it." 

Taehyung felt his heart twist painfully as Namjoon hung his head and covered his face with his hands. He'd never seen Namjoon like this. 

So, in despair.

"Namjoon, we, it's gonna be okay," Taehyung tried to soothe his friend. Namjoon just shook his head and stood up. 

"I'm gonna go and get some rest, Tae." Namjoon began to walk over to his bedroom. Taehyung stayed quiet and nodded sadly. 

"Goodnight Joon," he murmured. 

******

Namjoon's room was gloomy and gray, his sheets still ruffled from the sleepless night he'd spent. Of course, every night since Lucy had left, he'd stayed wide awake, thinking of her. 

His once bright and comfortable space had been sucked of all joy and warmth it had ever held for him. Lucy had taken that with her too. 

For what seemed like the hundredth time in the past few weeks, he sat down heavily on his unmade bed. 

If he could sleep, he could escape his wild thoughts for a little while, even if only for a few hours. 

He couldn't though, not really. 

When he did fall asleep, he didn't stay that way long. His dreams were tainted by the thought of her, in his subconscious, he could still see her, smell her, hear her, and feel her. The empty fantasy of it was almost as torturous as her absence. 

At least, the one was made more unbearable by the other in his waking and his sleeping. 

Namjoon huffed in frustration and ran his fingers violently through his hair. 

He'd written this song for her, for them. 

Now, she'd taken it for herself, and who knows who else. 

He couldn't help but wonder if this had been her plan all along. 

It felt like his heart was being torn to shreds and squeezed at the same time. The weight on his chest was suffocating and he couldn't seem to shake the labored breathing taking him over. 

He would give anything to have this all disappear.

To have never have met her, to have been blissfully ignorant. 

That would have been a better option than this. 

Namjoon began to construct each way in which his path could have avoided Lucy, and each time, this wrenching pain was averted. 

If only he hadn't walked into that quaint coffee shop on that bright and sunny day.

If only he hadn't seen the way in which the golden rays played with her hair and the way her dress folded over her figure. 

If only he hadn't let her smile captivate him every time she flashed it in his direction. 

If only he hadn't met her. 

Namjoon fought back the urge to shout, to flip things over, to tear things apart. 

If only he could forget her. 

If only he could get his mind off of her. 

He glanced at his phone again, a familiar and seemingly unbreakable habit. 

The blank screen gave him a sense of deeper panic, but at the same moment it seized his heart, an idea emerged in his mind. 

If he wanted to find a distraction, he could. It was so simple. He lived in one of the hottest cities in South Korea, and there were hundreds of attractions that bespoke distraction. 

Everything man had created to serve as a distraction was just outside of his door, a few blocks away. 

He grabbed his phone and went to his contacts. 

He knew someone who would serve as the perfect hypeman. 

A/N:

Who do you think the hypeman is huh??????

Also, I'm trying to regularly update Insomniac from now on. 

Currently, I'm having a difficult time coping with all of the different things going on in my life, and for some reason, Insomniac is just a really good outlet for the anxiety. 

I hope you're enjoying it so far, and I'll continue to do my best to give you the best work I can!

Please eat well and take care of yourselves!

*Novi*