Insomniac//KNJ

Chapter Fourteen//Java Shop

Namjoon stormed out of his apartment, he needed some air. The apartment felt stuffy and tense. He and Taehyung had spent the last half hour in a tense and heated discussion.

At the root of it, was the English language.

Taehyung had been working to learn English for quite some time, and as Namjoon was a fluent speaker, he'd asked him for help. The thing was though, Namjoon had taught himself the language for the most part by observation. It wasn't the same thing as the textbooks, sentence exercises, and repeat-after-me's that Taehyung's English teacher had assigned him.  It hadn't taken long for Namjoon to become thoroughly confused, and Taehyung had followed suit.

In true Namjoon fashion, he had continued to try and work through it. His stubbornness did not help though, and soon Taehyung was asking Namjoon to leave him alone with his work.

"Hyung, it's fine, I will ask my teacher about this problem tomorrow before class."

"Tae, we just need to get from this point to this point," Namjoon placed his finger on the paper, and Taehyung shook his head. He was frowning, and after a moment of tense silence, he stood up and gathered his papers. "Wait, don't give up yet. We can figure this out," Namjoon softened his tone.

"No, I need to take a break. Thanks for trying, hyung" Taehyung walked away with a frown, and Namjoon sighed.

He hated to see his friend so stressed out. He wished he could be more helpful, but he just wasn't a great tutor.

He walked outside and tried to take some deep breaths to calm his tense nerves. He just grew so frustrated when he was trying to teach concepts. He could understand the information, but he had a hard time relaying it. He wished he knew someone who could help teach Taehyung in a relaxed and conversational setting.

For now, though, there was nothing he could do about it. Namjoon knew himself to be stubborn, but he knew the same was true of Taehyung. If Taehyung had given up on trying to get Namjoon's help, he wouldn't go back on it. It would be a waste of both of their time for him to try and keep pressing the topic.

Namjoon walked out of their apartment complex to get some fresh air. It was still cold outside, but his hoodie was enough to keep him from shivering on this mild evening. His thoughtful steps carried him to the park, a place he'd been going often.

Since Taehyung had come back, Namjoon hadn't been going out to the clubs anymore. He had even been avoiding the drinking nights his friends invited him to. He didn't want to risk spiraling again. It had been months since Lucy had left him, but even now it could still bring him down into his darkest thoughts.

He was doing better though. He'd been writing a lot of music, reading a lot of new books, going to art shows and local concerts, and he'd found a new coffee shop.

One thing he hadn't been able to do was date anyone else again. His friends told him it was okay to move on, that he deserved to find someone better. He just smiled at their encouragements and told them he wasn't ready, that he wanted to work on himself first. At this, they would smile and nod, dropping the subject for a little longer.

That was only part of the truth though.

Namjoon did want to work on himself before he jumped into another relationship. Mostly though, he was afraid he'd just end up being hurt again. He'd given his whole heart to Lucy, and he'd devoted himself to her fully, and she had so easily tossed him away. Her leaving had almost shattered him completely. He knew he couldn't take that again.

It was better to be alone.

******

Namjoon kept his eyes trained on the menu, even though he ordered the same thing each time he visited the Java Shop. He knew though that if he took his eyes off the menu he'd meet the stare of the young college student sitting in the corner booth. She'd been checking Namjoon out covertly for some time, and Namjoon feared that if he looked her way, she'd try to approach him.