The Monster You Made Me

Chapter 19

Trigger warnings: Swearing/Blood/Violence/Death/Sex/Alcohol 

A/N: This chapter gets a little intense, in the sense that a lot of things happen between Wonho and Ruby. Much like the last time I wrote a somewhat smutty scene...I'm not good at writing it...But I think this is a bit better than the last one. Anyway, I just wanted to give a heads up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby sat gazing out to the rain-filled city. Her mind buzzed with what Wonho mentioned. After telling him she needed a few minutes to collect her thoughts, she had wandered into his living room. The view he had of the city was one she had always wished for. Spots slid down the window covering the image of the other buildings in a watery blur. Glancing back at the table she let out a breath. Wonho had left to go somewhere to give her space, even though she didn't need, or want, him too.

Looking down at her hands, she wondered just what she was. Was she human? Or a monster? She felt like a human. She even had a mundane routine she performed every morning, noon, and night. However, deep inside her, she knew something dark lurked there. Looking back to the city, she tried to bring her mind back to Wonho's timid voice.

"Those aren't nightmares. They're memories twisted by fear."

"Memories?" She whispered.

She tried to search back as far as she could remember. Something had to be hidden there. Somewhere in the shadows. Yet, as she searched, she couldn't find anything. The only thing that appeared was the sound of a car crash that faded into the crackle of the flames. Then screams. Shaking her head, she focused her eyes on the reflection staring back at her. Her body shook, yet she didn't feel cold. She trembled out of fear. She wanted Wonho to return from wherever he was.

After staring out the window for what felt like hours, Ruby got up from her spot and stretched her arms. Wandering back into the kitchen, she stood at the table and gazed off at the wall. She wanted to ask him so many questions. And the one on her mind right now was how they had met the very first time. How could he have known her? He kept so many secrets from her about herself that she needed to know.

"Damn it," She barked.

How was it that everyone knew something she didn't? First Kai, and now Wonho. Who else knew something about her? Lifting her gaze, she knew of one other person. Naomi. She would have been the only other person who would know exactly what had happened. However, it had been 10 years since Ruby had last seen her and she wasn't exactly sure where her Aunt was. Not like she would get anything from her anyway. Naomi was just about as stubborn as Kai if not worse. There was no way Naomi would budge.

Ruby let out a defeated breath. She just needed to be patient and wait for Wonho to return. He seemed to be the only person who was willing to talk to her.

"Where did you go?" Ruby asked, "I need you."

Her voice was shaky, not of fear but of longing. His apartment seemed smaller without him in it. It didn't matter what room she was in, the walls looked as though they were shrinking with each second. Even time itself seemed to stall. It ticked by like a snail. Ruby tried to keep herself busy, with little luck. She began pacing back and forth not only with her steps but with her mind as well. She thought that maybe, just maybe, she might be able to figure something out by the time Wonho returned.

"Damn it," She yelled as she rustled her hands through her hair.

Nothing made any sense. It bothered her that no matter how much information she had, there were still missing pieces. Crossing through the kitchen and back into his tiny living room, Ruby found a spot on the couch and stretched out. Since the silence was her only company, she decided rather than fighting with it, that she'd just accept it. It wasn't as if Wonho was going to walk through that door at that very second with any more information.