Our Secret | Taejin✔️

Promises

Jin's Pov:

Taehyung had remade my food and was now sitting across from me again. I didn't touch the food, so now he was trying to feed me, "come on, you have to eat. open up?" I hesitantly opened my mouth and ate the food.

I swear this was the cycle of abuse. How could he be so angry and abusive one minute, but soft and kind the next minute? "You know I can't stay here forever, right?" he says, feeding me another spoonful of food. Good, go, no one will miss you. "So you know what that means right?" I shook my head, no, I don't know.

"It means neither, can you. I am taking you back to Seoul. You won't need to go back to work. You can't anyway, you are pregnant right now, and our daughter will need a lot of care once she is born. I don't trust babysitters nor nannies, I don't want anyone of them around my child. Therefore, I will require you to be with her at all times or myself. Only selected family members are allowed around her too. I will need only doctor's I can trust to care for you and her. I know you probably hate me right now and I don't want you to. I am sorry for making this hard for you, but I can't let go of you or our child. I need that baby, I really need that baby Seokjin, I need both of you. I almost went crazy when I thought I lost you. I can't allow that to happen again. Not to you or the baby. I want to show you my good side more, I think my other side has been taking over a lot more, but he gets like that when he feels pushed away, angered, or used. I am a mess, I really am, but I need you. You and the baby will be good for me. I just want you to have some patience with me, I am getting help. I am generally not faithful in going for help, but I will become more committed to seeing my psychiatrist.

I don't want to keep secrets from you, I don't know why my dark side come out a lot more with you, but my psychiatrist seems to think it's because you are the first person I have cared about since my mother died. I become overly obsessive and protective over you. I don't even know if that's a thing. I hurt you a lot, didn't I? I won't do it to the baby, I promise you, I won't do anything to harm our baby. Just please don't leave me, don't threaten to leave me either. Don't do things to trigger the other side of me. I know I am asking a lot from you when I haven't given you a lot, and maybe I am selfish, but it's the only way I know how. I am sorry you got into this with me, but I am happy I have met you. You saved me Seokjin, I can't allow you to leave me now. It's weird because I am wrong for you, but you are suitable for me. With time you may even love me the way I love you. I won't force you to love me. However, I will force you to stay with me. So you decide, do you want to keep fighting me or running or will you move with me willingly? The choice is yours, the consequences, however, will be determined based on the decision you make."

At some point, I had stopped chewing the food in my mouth. Did he really just admit to being crazy and what does he mean by the "other side" what the hell! Psychiatrist? Was he on meds? Is it safe for me to ask him that?

"I love you Seokjin, I love you more than you will ever know." No, trust me, I know, you love me enough to kill me. What choice do I have, fighting will only make things worse for me anyway? Killing this baby will probably scare me more than him. I will really be the monster then. I finish chewing the food in my mouth, "I will go back with you. I hope you know since you are forcing me, I cannot promise you, love. I don't know who wronged you in life or made you this way. However, I regret being the one left to deal with the mess they created. I am not a psychiatrist, so I am not sure how I am of any help to you, but for the sake of my baby and my life, I will go back with you. Can I just request one thing?"

"What's that?"

"Please promise me, no matter how angry you become, you will never hit our child. You can abuse me as much as you want, but promise me, you will never do the same to our daughter." If I can't protect myself, I should at least try and protect my child.

"I would never ever put my hands on our baby. I don't like putting my hands on you either. I don't want to be that future husband, who raised his family in abuse. I am trying to be different, please be patient with me." Future husband?

"Taehyung, we are not getting married." He grips the spoon in his hand. "Seokjin. Don't say that. Please don't say that. I ask you not to trigger me. You can't say stuff like that. Why would you say that?! Are you trying to marry someone else?! Is it Dr. Kim or Director Jeon? Do I need to fire Director Jeon?" Woah! Talk about a switch in personality. I moved my hand over to him and touched his hand, "Taehyung, I-I am sorry. I didn't mean that." I watched as he began to calm down from his anger, letting out a deep sigh.

"Promise me, promise me you will marry me." He grips onto my hand, looking into my eyes with desperation.

"I-I Promise." I closed my eyes to soak in what I just promised him.

I guess I now know what my future will be like.