Grace ↠ (Camren)

saving grace

On opposite ends of town, both Lauren Jauregui and Camila Cabello sat in their individual bedrooms, minds consumed with thoughts of the day's events.

Lauren had thought it was ironic that the sky was crying too. As the rain fell, she felt water pool in her evergreen eyes. She couldn't believe she had been so unbelievably vile to Camila. Sure, Lauren had spent the majority of high school giving the younger girl a hard time. Lauren wasn't a bad person by any means, but the rough hands life had dealt her were more than she knew how to handle sometimes. Often, she felt like she was losing control. Her grip on reality seemed to be slipping straight from her shaky hands, and there was nothing she could do.

Lauren remembered the first day of high school, where she had first found herself in the presence of Camila Cabello. It had been a particularly bad morning for the girl, her father nitpicking everything from the way her hair fell on her shoulders to the fact that her leather black skirt would give off the wrong impression. After sharing profanities and spilling a few tears, Lauren's father had dropped her off at school, nothing but disapproval in his eyes. And Lauren was defeated.

Fast forward thirty minutes later and she felt envy as she watched a doe-eyed girl attempt to open her locker across from her own. Loose curls cascaded down the girl's back, stopping just above her waistline. A black bow rested on top of her hair, accenting it perfectly. The mysterious girl wore a black halter top, light washed high-waisted skinny jeans, and black combat boots. Joined by a teacher on her right who was attempting to help Camila unlock her locker, the girl's smile seemed genuine as she made small talk with the woman. 

Lauren was jealous. Brown eyes lit up, her cheeks seemed soft and lacking tension, and she genuinely seemed happy. She looked innocent, like nothing in her life had ever caused her pain. Unknown to Lauren, she was so very wrong. And so began the long process of Lauren bullying the girl.

When Camila had finally succeeded in opening her locker, thanking the teacher for her assistance, Lauren decided to walk over to her. It didn't go unnoticed to the green-eyed girl the welcoming smile that Camila had given her, but in that moment, she really didn't care. All she knew was that her father had made her feel so small less than an hour ago, and she needed to let it out on something - on somebody. 

She hated that she had told Camila that her bow was childish and stupid for a high schooler. She had actually thought it was cute. But Lauren couldn't ignore the adrenaline rush she had felt in that moment, the way Camila's eyes faltered and shrunk down under Lauren's gaze. Lauren felt that she was in control for the first time in a long time. Instead of being on the receiving in, this time it was Lauren Jauregui who had the power. 

Lauren snapped back to reality as her daughter shifted in her crib beside her own bed. She stared at her for a moment before the baby adjusted herself and fell back to sleep. Although the words that she had spat at Camila during their freshman and sophomore year were hurtful, she had never attacked such a personal part of Camila's soul. How had it come to this point?

Lauren felt bile rise in her throat and barely made it to her bedroom's connecting bathroom before she began to gag. She retched for a few minutes, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet before sagging to the floor. She heard her door open and cursed herself for forgetting to lock it. Her mother's voice echoed through the door, causing Lauren's nausea to intensify. "You better not have been a little slut and gotten pregnant again. Clean that shit up." Clara slammed the door shut before the young mother had a chance to respond, waking up the sleeping baby in the process. Beckoning her mother to attend to her, Grace's shrill cry began to fill the room. Quickly rinsing her mouth with mouth wash, Lauren sauntered to her daughter's crib and picked the Grace up to cradle her in her arms. 

Staring at her baby, Lauren had smiled her first genuine smile of the night. Grace Rhiannon Jauregui was her mother's entire reason. While her middle name was directly inspired by her love of Fleetwood Mac, the little girl's first name was more special. She was truly Lauren's saving grace. She was also named after Lauren's abuela.

Within the Jauregui family, Lauren's abuela was her biggest supporter and greatest confidant. She pushed and believed in Lauren more than anyone else in her life. Lauren often wished she could live with her grandmother full time as a child. In her presence only, Lauren felt loved. Abuela Grace was the first person that Lauren had told of her sexuality at age fourteen and she had embraced Lauren completely when she told her she liked looking at girls more than boys. "Mi amor, you are beautiful in every way and my love for you will never falter." Lauren had needed to hear those words more than anything, as her parents had done anything but accept her. That's when her issues with them had started. And things had never changed.

That's why when her abuela had succumbed to cancer the summer before her freshman year of high school, it rocked fifteen-year-old Lauren's entire world. Lauren had lost the only person in the world who had made her feel like she mattered. Things only intensified the following April when Lauren had conceived Grace. Her daughter was her greatest blessing, but what had happened to her was her greatest curse. And nobody knew. Lauren was never the same and her attacks on Camila grew more frequent. 

In these moments, alone in her bedroom with her baby asleep in her arms, Lauren wished more than anything that she could just stop. That she could stop hurting Camila, that her parents would stop causing the hurt that caused her to hurt Camila, that she could stop thinking about him, that things would just stop. If she didn't have Grace, Lauren thought to herself, she would have left this world a long time ago.

Camila Cabello found herself in front of a small mirror in her family's shared bathroom, ensuring that the door was locked so that no unwelcome family members would enter as she silently picked herself apart. Never in the time that Lauren had been Camila's bully had she said something so hurtful, so personal. The teenager wasn't even sure how Lauren had found out about Sofia's death, but in that moment, it didn't matter. She knew and she had used it against her. How could a person be so incredibly mean.

Lauren had emotionally picked apart Camila's outside appearance, from her personality to her forehead mole, but this time she had gone inside of Camila's ribcage and personally ripped her four chambers apart. She had a pulse, but she felt dead inside. She missed her sister, and she missed when everything was normal. She missed life before Lauren Jauregui had entered it.

The girl heard a small knock on the front door of her house, much to her confusion. It was late at night and she didn't figure either of her parents were expecting someone at that time. Trying her best to pull herself together, she exited the bathroom and headed to the door, shouting to her parents that she would answer to the knock. 

Lauren Jauregui was the last person she expected to see on the other side.

Lauren wasn't sure how she had gotten from her house to Camila's front door. One moment she was on her bed, consumed by her thoughts, and the next moment she was begging her mother to watch Grace for an hour because she needed to "run and get more diapers." In reality, Lauren had three extra boxes in her closet. She wasn't keen on leaving her daughter with her mother, especially because she wasn't fond of her granddaughter, but Lauren knew she would safe for the small time it took to go to Camila's house. It was raining and she needed to talk to Camila. Not the best space to bring a ten-month-old into.

After knocking on the door and stepping back, Lauren's palms grew sweaty as she heard soft footsteps approaching. When the door opened, the girl mentally smacked herself as she saw how puffy Camila's eyes were. She had been crying, and Lauren was the reason why.

The young mother wondered how many other tears she had caused to fall down those porcelain cheeks.

A/N

Another update for you lovelies.

I wanted to thank you all for over a hundred reads on my story. I know it may not seem like a lot to some, but I was terrified to post this and I wondered if even one person would click on my story. I know it isn't the best story and it's a bit cringy, but I am having fun with it and it feels therapeutic to put something from my brain into words. So thank you all for giving me a chance. It means more than you know.

I hope you have a nice weekend.

- K