THE LOST LETTER

Continues

MORNING
When I opened my eyes I quickly checked my phone,
Hoping she left a text that would brighten up my day
And we would be okay,
But still, there was nothing.

My patience was running out,
I was losing hope.
So I got out of bed and went to take a long shower that I even arrived late at school that day.

While on my way I received a text from her,

Hey Uhm can we talk when you get to school?

I read it and made up my mind
That it was going to be negative, and I felt like turning back and head home
But I had to hear what she has to say.

I even prepared myself that I will not respond when she speaks
Or even hug her.
I’ve given up on her and on us.

When I got to school I asked her where she is, “You passed me I was outside the school gate” she replied.

How is that I didn’t notice her
I must have been thinking a lot, on top of that I had earphones on.

Earphones in…
World out
                 -unknown

When I got to her she smiled and tried to hug me
But I took a step back to hint her that I don’t want her near me
Because I knew, having her in my arms would confuse me
And I would change the decision I’ve taken in my head

She was so beautiful, gorgeous and fucken adorable,
I couldn’t even resist her cute puppy eyes,
The million dollar smile she has,
With her bright white teeth.
Her soft, smooth and juicy lips,
That kept on calling my lips to come close to hers,
Her lovely voice that makes every sentence spoken,
Feel like a sweet love song, sang with tears by a very gifted artist.

Although I tried so badly to hide the feelings I have for her,
She was able to tell that I’m still infatuated by her.

“So what is it that you wanted us to talk about?” I asked

“Not really talk but I’d like you to listen to me for a moment…” she replied

I then held her hand to go and sit down.
What the hell was I holding her hand for? Why am I showing her that,
No matter what “I got you”

We then sat down and she looked at me
“I want to be honest with you right now, I don’t know what has gotten into me lately,
But I feel like I’ve let you down, I feel like I don’t deserve you, the love that you show me, the patience And how understanding you are. I believe that I am just a burden to you…”

She spoke while looking at me in the eyes.
And just like that I expected the worst,
I knew that this wasn’t going to be anything positive,
But I still replied with the bit of hope left in me…

No you’re not baby why would you say that?

“I am I haven’t been the perfect girl you met months ago, and I am afraid that if you knew why I say this you’d leave me” she said.

Sometimes we beg for the truth
But we are unable to handle it
                                         _f.p

I begged her to tell me why she is saying such, I have to know what she did.

“I’m very sorry, please forgive me, I beg you” she said while tears start filling her eyes.

“Baby talk to me…” I insisted

“Uhm I…I kissed someone during the school holidays. The reason why I have been acting so weird around you, is because I feel bad, I feel dirty I knew you wouldn’t look at me the same if you found out, so I tried pushing you away even though I didn’t want that and it breaks my heart…”

She waited for my response…
And all I did was to look at her and said no words.

“But please baby don’t assume we did more than kiss, the problem was that I caught feelings for THE GUY but at the same time I didn’t and I don’t love him”

If you have to choose between me
And the other person
Choose the other person
                                        _f.p

Then there was silence…

Loyal girls don’t stay home
Loyal girls stay loyal wherever they go
                                                         _f.p

I had to say something…I mean I still love her, and a lot even
But why did she do this, when she knew very well that …

When I love, I love with my all
And when I leave, I leave with everything
                                                            _f.p