THE LOST LETTER

MELANCHOLY

Day passed without me asking my mom anything,
One day when I heard my mom’s car approaching
And the gate opening ,
My heart started beating fast, I was nervous
What if I ask her and she tells me to prepare for the life where she is no more?

Now I got an impatient partner
And a sick mother
                          ♠Unloved. Misfit

I was watching TV as she walked in and greeted me with a smile, and I could see the tears behind it but I kept quiet. I decided to go and ask her about the letter I found.

-Uhm, ma I found this letter in your room, what’s going on?

The strength of a woman
Is seen in her words
                              _f.p

“Well I knew I wouldn’t hide this any longer, I’m sick my baby…and I can’t afford the operation, remember your father was the one with the medical aid card…”

-I know that, but I did research and it’s very dangerous, why don’t you ask for a loan from the bank

“I wish it was that easy, I can’t afford any debts right now…one day you will understand, don’t worry about me…”

I sat on the bed with tears in my eyes, powerless and useless.

There’s two people in us
The physical form that’s pretending
And the internal form that’s crying
                                         - Unloved. Misfit             

“God has other plans for me, and great things for you…”
And she stood up and went to prepare supper

All I could think of, was how god is a fucked up person,
He can’t possibly plan on doing such to me and say it’s for the best,
Or that it’s part of the journey, I can’t afford to lose my mother.
This “god” that we all praising, works in very mysterious ways…

After an hour and few minutes she called me to come and eat, I was in my room trying to pass out…and after eating I just made sure I take sleeping pills this time and just forget all of this.

Morning (Friday)
I wake up and immediately check my phone, it’s been a while, it’s the first thing I do when I open my eyes but then I was quickly bored,
My so called girlfriend blew up my phone last night.
I didn’t even read half of the texts I received, I only read the last one which reads:

“babe look you can’t ignore me like this, what’s wrong with you…I thought you’d explain what was going through your mind last time but nothing or at least talk to me, anything I apologised for cheating on you, I gave you the best sex I can possibly give, we made love, but you didn’t bother to text and tell me that it was amazing or that you missed it? Nothing? You know I love you a lot but please meet me halfway in making this relationship work, right now it’s like I’m dating myself…goodnight actually”

The more you force and push
The more you will cry in the end
                                                   _f.p

I ignored it, I’ll reply to it later after bathing and doing everything.
And so I did my daily routine and headed off to school…