Heaven In Devil's Arms

▪ XV: Elijah's Confession

It's raining and we can't go back to his apartment. Nag-commute lang ako at wala ng sasakyan na dumadaan. Wala ding ni isa sa amin ang may dalang cellphone para raw sana matawagan si Mang Erwin.

Nakaupo lang kami sa ilalim ng puno, medyo nababasa kami pero at least, may nasisilungan naman.

I looked at Elijah. Why did he kept all of that from me? Hindi ko magawang sabihin kay Elijah ang mga narinig ko sa utak ko. Those memories with him that I could barely remember. I don't know what exactly had happen but I am certain of feeling the same love and pain I supposed I felt before.

Is he trying to protect me?

"Elijah.." I mumbled while still staring at him. He look at me with a worry in his eyes. "S-sorry." I bit my lower lip because of guilt. Kung hindi ako umiyak e hindi sana umulan. This is all my fault.

Devil cupped my cheeks and looked straight in my eyes. "No Angel, sorry for making you cry. If I had came earlier, you shouldn't have encountered a fucking bastard like that devil and that also fucking angel." He said.

I gently slap his arms as I heard him cuss, I can't let it pass this time. "Language Devil." I sighed. "You've been in so much trouble because of me. I'm a burden." I lowered my head.

He pulled me close to him as he hugged me by my head. I can clearly hear the beats of his heart and I could lost counts to its every ups and downs.

"How can someone that lights up my heart be a burden?" He asked and he softly laughed. "I am willing to save you Shaina, at all cost, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness." He said. I felt a twitch in my heart, those lines was the exact line I heard. I hugged him back.

"What were you Elijah? Before you became a devil?" I asked. I felt how his body stiffened.

"I wonder too." Lies. "If I have been a human died sinful or an angel and got myself falling to hell, sure I'll lost my memories." He said which is true, but not in his situation.

"Can it be the other way around, Elijah?" I asked. "Paano kung hindi kunin sayo ang alaala mo at ang mga nasa paligid mo ang makalimot sayo? Paano kung ikaw na lang makaalala sa lahat?" I added.

Napatigil si Elijah. Marahan niyang ginulo ang buhok ko at iniharap ang mukha ko sa kanya. Kinurot niya ang ilong ko at mahinang tumawa. I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Ang kulit kulit mo Angel." Tumingin siya sa malayo. "To answer your question, remembering everything while everyone didn't, especially by the creature you love the most, that could feel like a curse. It would be painful, really painful." I know he meant what he said.

So that's how he felt.

It is also painful to know you lost treasured moments with someone and you can't have them back. It is painful to know you lost memories and you lost traces. But I know it better, that it is a lot painful for Elijah who remembers everything.

The feelings of the forgotten past remained in our hearts. That hurts.

"Elijah.." I hesitated. "Are you willing to remind that creature you love the most everything about your memories together, if ever you meet again?" I asked.

Please tell me everything.

He sighed heavily as he looked up at the sky. Humihina na ang ulan pero makulimlim pa din.

"Bakit pa? It will only hurt her, if that is the situation, sure I chose to remember everything and made her forgot about me so that the creature I love the most won't suffer the pain of having those memories she can't experience anymore. Of course, I took the other way around, para ako na lang ang makaramdam ng lahat ng sakit. Shaina, you will do everything for the one you love the most. You will sacrifice everything, kahit ang sarili mo. Kahit yung kasiyahan mo." He said.

He wanted me to share one love and lifetime with him, but he don't want me to share one pain with him. Which is ironic, this life doesn't choose levels and estates even creatures, it is always with pain. We all hurts. And to be able to fulfill one lifetime with someone, they should accept the fact they also have to share one pain.

Elijah is selfish enough to take all the pain. He is a total masochist. Bakit niya kailangang angkinin ang lahat? He is being the total devil he is right now!

"Do you think you ever loved someone Elijah?" I asked looking intently in his dark coal eyes. There is a visible pain inside but it is immediately replaced by a playful stare together with a grin.

He's back at being the total devil again and I think I know what he is going to say. I just can't help but frown.

"You're asking the devil if he ever loved someone!" He laughed hard and turned to his seriousness again. "We all do, Shaina." He said in a serious tone as he looked at the sky and then to me.

"Then who?" I asked.

He sadly smiled at me. I saw tender in his eyes. "I wonder too." Secrets. He is good at concealing truths, mahirap siyang hulihin. He looked at my lips. "Sorry for making that sin Angel." He whispered as he touched my lips. I felt my cheeks burned red.

Why does he have to say that?! Ugh!

"Devil!" I hissed at him as I lowered my head. This is embarrassing!

"I was jealous." He mumbled. "That fuck---" I glared at him. "I mean, ducking angel just kissed you and I can't ever let it happen that some fu---ducking bas---mustard do that to you except me!" He ranted like a child and he is cute with that.

"And why it should be you?" I asked raising my brows. "I am not allowed to do that. I could fell to hell." I said. "Plus, Enoch didn't really kissed me on the lips, just on the side." He sighed in relief.

"Of course I can Angel. You are not allowed to kiss only a co-angel and I am not. I am a devil." He reasoned out. "At some point, it will make some of your feathers to turn gray, and with that I'm sorry." He sincerely said. "Next time I would feel jealous, I'll just burn them as paym----" I cutted him off as I slap his arms. He slightly burned Enoch in the foot already! That's enough.

"Elijah!"

"Shaina!"

"What?!"

"I love you!"

Shock was all over my face. Did he just say that? I felt like my world stopped as I stared at him feeling my cheeks burning red.

"H-huh?" I asked. Why am I surprised?! Hindi ba at may palagay din naman akong may pinagsamahan kami dati?

Why does it feels like the first time and at the same time familiar?!

This feelings, ugh.

My shookt face is replaced by a frown when Elijah laughed hard.

"Nah-uh, kidding Angel! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I got you!" He laughed hard and I can't help but roll my eyes.

Uh yes, he was not the same angel I guessed he used to before because he is a total devil right now.

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