Attraction {in editing}

Chapter 5

Then I felt a lump in my throat. Tears welling up. Palms getting sweaty. And I cried the loudest I ever had.
I could hear James rushing down the stairs.
"What happened." It wasn't even a question. I didn't have a choice, I had to tell him otherwise he'd go and find out himself.

"He bailed James. He left."

He let out a small sigh and placed his hand on his forehead. Something I was used to. This was his normal reaction when I would come home crying about a boy or friend I'd lost.

"But doesn't it suck James. Doesn't it really fucking suck when you think you've finally met someone that will actually stay in your life. And then they don't."

"Please don't stress about him, I'll kick his ass for you." I let out a smile and a laugh over my tears.

"I'll kick it myself."

"James, it's going to get bad again and-"

"It won't get bad as long as I'm here or as long as you keep the negativity out. You're going to to be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, maybe even not next month or next year. But when you get there. You'll be happy you hung on."

I loved these moments with James. He was equipped with the simplest, yet best advice. He knew just what to say.
This is how it went on for a while. I cried, and James gave out his advice to me and made sure I told him all my feelings. We talked everything through and I felt alright again. His hugs made me feel more secure than anyone. He was he person in my life no one could ever replace and the one person who knew me.

"I need to get out."

"If you need air I'll go walk outside with you."

"Okay." I sniffled even though I wasn't currently crying, my eyes were puffy and red. I knew I must've looked sick and gross I didn't have to look in a mirror.

We both grabbed our sweatshirts and walked out linking arms.

We walked to the nearest park and messed around for awhile and before I knew it, I got stuck on the monkey bars.

"JAMES GET ME DOWN."
I can't even explain how hard he laughed he was laughing for more than 5 minutes straight, then he took out his phone and recorded me stuck and I kept screaming and crying.

"Okay okay, fine" He still managed to laugh but carried me down.

Then we heard a gunshot.

"What was that?" I screamed
"Shutup " He covered my mouth and we went underneath the apparatus. We held each other closely.
"James we need to get out of here now." I whispered, grabbing his hand.

Then I heard the words I was so used to hearing from him "I won't let anyone hurt you, alright? You just need to calm down your anxiety."

"I'm trying so hard James" I started picking up the pace of my breathing and gasping for the air I struggled for. Everything was spinning and I was crying while holding my stomach.

After a silent 6 minutes we decided it was safe to go out. As soon as we got up, we heard people yelling and two more gunshots.

"James I'm scared."
He hated seeing me cry, he held me tighter.

"It's okay I promise you'll be okay."
But that's what scared me. That I would be okay and he wouldn't. I can't let anything happen to him.

"I need to check if they're gone okay, when I say run, Run. I mean it you run as fast as you ever have."

"James if anything happens to you I -"

"I'll be okay. I'm here to protect you."
He peeked his head out and eventually, his whole body was out in the open.
Then I heard gunshots and yelling.

"Run."

We ran as fast as we could down all the blocks leading anywhere, but home. If they found where we lived, we were dead.

Finally we found a gate, and James jumped it. When I tried, a hand jerked me behind and threw me on the ground. He put the gun to my head.

"Let me go please" I stuttered, still crying, and alive with fear.

"You saw us and heard us. If we let you go, you'll just snitch." The man taunted

"No-"

"If you don't let her go I swear to god I will kill you."

"James stop it you're going to get hurt."
My breathing was insane. I could barely get those words out and I was gasping for air and crying.

"Who's this, some faggot of yours huh?"

"Don- don't call him that."
I was terrified but I had to stand my ground. For my best friend.

"I can do whatever I want." He shook me and put off the safety on the gun, finger on the trigger.

"I promise we won't say anything."

"Of course you won't, that's why I'm pulling this trigger -"

The man was cut off, James hit him in the back of the head and the man was knocked down. I kicked whoever was by his side. The other man standing next to him grabbed James and started beating him.

This cannot be happening,
This can't be happening, please tell me this isn't happening. But it was happening. When I broke out of my thoughts, I realized James and I were running away and we made it home.

He shut the door and immediately locked it. He told me go straight to the room and relax. But who can relax when their best friend almost gave up their life for them? Before I did anything, I hugged the hell out of him. I hugged him out of fear. Out of love. Out of every single emotion I felt in me. Until everything was okay again.

"James they nearly killed you"
I let my tears fall silently until my eyes hurt and my throat burned.

"Go to sleep okay. Please. I'll go with you. You need to calm down okay?"

"O-Okay" I stuttered as we went upstairs to our room.

"James I'm scared."

"It's okay. I'm here, I won't let anyone ever hurt you."

I traced his newly made bruises and hugged him. He held me in a warm embrace and calmed me down, tracing the small of my waist and setting me down on the bed. I put on some sweats and fell asleep next to him. I was still shaking when I woke up to find James wasn't next to me. He was on the floor.

"James??" I said with panicking words

"What" He growled
"Why are you on the floor like that?"

"You kicked me off the bed."
"I did? Oh my god I'm sorry, I was asleep"

"I know, it's alright."

"Why are you all dressed up, you never get up early." I questioned, my curiosity took over.

"To find Beau so I can kick his ass."
That's what I liked about James. So straightforward. He always took care of me whether I wanted him to, or not. He was overly-protective of me, but I didn't mind so much.

I played with the hem of his shirt, making sure to control my breathing, I was scared to say anything to Beau but I knew I, myself had to say it to him, nobody else.

"No James. I'll do it. Not hurt him but you know, tell him off. I have to do this."

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this- alright go, but you better get ready now before I change my mind."

"Thank you for trusting me, and I promise if I can't handle it I'll call you okay?"
"I guess. Just go, you have- 10 minutes to get there if you wanna meet him at the neutral time you always do."

I nodded slowly and went to go change. I waited there. No one ever showed. I walked there every morning for a week. Hoping, hoping so hard with all I had that he'd be there. I stopped waiting. I stood home. Even when I went to work I never saw him.

Maybe that's what killed me the most.