Satyriasis {boyxboy} - FINISHED -

Epilogue

A/N: I still can't believe this book is over. Aghhh!

I'm so grateful for all of you guys that have read and commented and voted throughout all this time. You're the best.

The sequel is already in the works and it'll be posted during the Louis POV. There isn't a date of when I'll post the chapters yet, but I'm aiming for late August/early September. So I'd recommend you to re-read this book in the meantime, as it'll help you recall the events and all that.

P.S: I'm gonna make a Q&A! If you guys have any questions just ask me!

SATYRIASIS SOUNDTRACK: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL36ROVMXYtEdhtIKLNa6KhtXf9zw5JvLC

Song: Love The Way You Lie - Skylar Grey

It's never just a thought. Thoughts lead to words, words leads to actions. And every action has it's consequences. Like the butterfly effect. But he would not overthink anymore. He would not torture himself no longer. What was said and done was said and done. He couldn't go back and change a thing from the past, but he could choose not to look back and try to move on, like he knew Louis would. That was the right thing to do for his own sake, for his peace of mind.

But fear consumed him like a slow burning match. And the worst thing was fearing Louis would move on sooner than him and erase his memory completely; turning into a mirage in his book of memories. He knew some people were capable of that - erasing someone they once claimed to love -, but he just couldn't, even if he wanted to. He loved Louis in spite of everything he said to him, and probably would still love him for the rest of his life. It went beyond the physical attraction, the shared interests and the complimentary personalities; it was soul connection - unconditional love.

He fiddles with the ring he forgot to give back, battling if he should put it on again or not. He would never regret his love for Louis nor compare it to any other he might experience if they truly part ways forever. Maybe they lied on the left side of the right bed all along. Maybe he was too blinded by love to see it, but it was the realest thing while it lasted.

Now there were just grey ashes of the boldest fire all around. He lied in a permanent state of daze, like he's sedated and he can't move. But, sadly, he still felt the profound void in his chest, which every single thing echoed through. And it always brought him back to the good times that were slowly fading away from his memory. It hurt beyond comparison being so aware of that emptiness inside him, the lost of something so beautiful and rare he would never live again. He never took those days for granted, but he still hated not having made the absolute most of them. But all good things must come to an end at one point. And he was found on the point of no return.

The truth is that he would've never given up on them if Louis hadn't first. Despite all his inner struggles and the belief that Louis was better off with someone less damaged, he would keep fighting for them. Because everything was easier by his side; because Louis chased his demons away. And now he had pushed him away with all his swords, all the insensitive lies. Words are permanent - intangible - saved in our minds for worst or for better. And what he said to him was the most awful thing he's ever said, and he could never take it back.

From the other side of the room, his resting phone vibrates over his desk. It hadn't rang in a week whatsoever, so he guessed it was Liam bugging him to answer his calls. As he rises from his death he feels dizzy and nearly loses his balance. As much as his mom knocked on his door and asked - begged - him to come down for dinner and other meals, he just couldn't face the real world with only half of his heart.

When he walks to his phone - intending on responding for the first that week - every thump of his feet is a throbbing headache. He just hoped it would be worth it.