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Chapter 19: New York New York (Part Two)

Cameron's POV

I sat opposite Nash, not really knowing what to say. I still wondered why he brought me here. Not just to the restaurant but to New York. He knew I loved New York. How I'd constantly go on about it every time we have to go. Could that be the reason? And also, I had forgotten to ask Matt what Nash asked about me. That bothered me, but knowing Matt, he probably wouldn't tell me. Matt's weird like that. He would leave out important pieces of information.

"Cam. Babe, you gonna order?" Nash said while looking at me. I noticed that there was a waiter standing next to our table. But wait, had Nash just called me babe? "Cam." Nash said again, snapping me out of my trans. I chuckled nervously. "Uh, I'll have whatever he's having." I said. I was not in the mood to read the menu. Nash raised an eyebrow and then nodded at the waiter. The waiter nodded back and took the menus off our tables and then left.

"Babe. Is something wrong?" Nash asked. Damn, there it is again. "No..." I said while looking down. "Nice place hay. Favorite restaurant in New York." Nash said while smiling. I smiled at him. "It's breathtaking." I said truthfully. It was. "Like you." Nash said. I snorted as his cheesy remark. Nash hesitated for a second and then started laughing along with me.

"New York, the honeymoon suit and now this. Hmmm Nash Grier if I were a stupid teenage girl I would think this is one gigantic romantic getaway." I said between laughs. "And what if it is?" he asked, suddenly getting serious. "Then I'd be highly confused." I said. Nash took a moment to fully understand what I meant. He didn't say anything to it.

It was the truth. If this was some romantic getaway then I would be highly confused. Maybe this is just his way of apologizing for the Lia fiasco. But that wouldn't add up because he asked me to come here before that happened. My head was hurting. Everything was so confusing. The hand holding, the kissing and the cuddling. I just wanted it to all go away. But at the same time, I wanted more. So much more.

*****

Once we arrived back at the hotel, Nash let out a loud groan. It was now round about noon. Nash looked at me. "Cam, we need to talk." he said while sitting down. I know that we needed to talk but I did not expect us to talk so soon. In fact I did not expect us to talk at all. I imaged that I would be the one to bring it up and Nash would just blow it off and we'd end up having sex or something. Not that I didn't like that possibility. I was just surprised Nash actually wanted to talk about this.

"Okay then." I said while following him and also sitting down. "We need to talk about the Lia thing in the trailer." he said. My eyes widened. I did not want to talk about that, but at the same time I was intrigued as to why he brought it up. "Um." was all I could say before he continued talking. "It meant nothing." he said. I smirked. "You say that phrase an awful lot you know." I said. Nash looked at me for a long time. "Not just that. Everything." It took me a moment to try and understand what he meant by 'everything'. "I don't love her." he said, I could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Then why is she your girlfriend?" I asked. He looked up. "Why do you think?" he asked. Before I could respond his lips were on mine, moving really fast. It took me a moment to respond. He pushed me back and hovered over me. He looked like he was going to say something but he never did, instead he re-attached his lips to mine.

We were like that for a while, just making out on the bed. But what bothered me, no not bothered, what interested me was that he didn't try to make a move on me, you know sexually. He was kissing me without the intention of sex. This was weird. Usually we'd just make out for a few minutes then he'd try to pull my pants down or something. I suddenly got angry, not because we weren'r having sex, but because he was so damn complicated. First we have sex and he ignores me. Turns out he had a girlfriend the entire time. We have sex again, he ignores me again and then we just end up making out at random times. He says he loves me and he does not mean it. I catch him with her. I just could not take it anymore. All this built up rage and anxiety was eating away at me.

I pushed him off me. He looked at me, almost hurt. "Nash what is this? Why did you bring me here? Why did you take me out? Why do you keep holding my hand? Why do you keep kissing me? Why do you keep avoiding me after sex?" I was getting angry at this point and my breath hitched. It was difficult to get the words out. "Why do you keep saying 'I love you' during sex? Why do you make me feel like shit afterwards? Why do you ignore me? Why are you with Lia? Why did you have sex with her in my trailer?!" tears were streaming out of my eyes at this point. I was shaking. Nash stood there with wide eyes. He looked like he was going to say but he didn't not, not immediately anyway.

He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. He held me really tight. He wiped away my tears. I was paralyzed at this point. I wanted to pull away but I couldn't. "I'm so sorry Cam. I'm so sorry..." he repeated over and over again. I kept crying though. He kissed my forhead and looked at me. "I love you Cam and... " he stopped for a bit. "I want to be with you. Only you, not Lia, not anyone else, only you."

I looked up at him. Eyes and heart open. I lunged at him and kissed him with every bit of passion I had, till all my fears and all my doubts were gone.

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