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Chapter 81: That's Where You're Wrong

"Now I can't think of air without thinking of you." - Arctic Monkeys
Jack J's POV

"Forgive me father for I have sinned." I say the familiar prayer to the wall. I'm in that confessional I've visited once before. I've never really understood these things. Christians shouldn't make mistakes they need to repent for? We're taught not to do anything bad and forgive, but if we do we go to God for repentance. That just seems stupid. Why are we going to God and not the person we wronged? Alot of things don't really make sense to me anymore.

"Yes son," Father says in that creaky old voice. I can't help but squirm a little inside the box. Between his voice and how dark it is I've never felt safe here. And now I can't help but feel like somehow God has told him what I've done and he'll smite me or something.

"I have a problem. With my feelings." I start off. I can't just come out and say it... Not to a priest. Then I'll definitely get smited.

"What is the problem?" He asked.

"I've had... Lustful feelings for my best friend." I say and fidget in my seat.

"I see." Father says calmly. I shut my eyes tight and mentally prepare for my smiting.

"And that's... Not just that. I've sort of... It's complicated." I fumble over my words trying to avoid saying those words.

"You seem nervous." I sigh.

"Yeah," my voice shakes beneath me. I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants. "Because there's something else, my friend... they're sort off... a... good friend... It's a guy.." I finally just blurt out. I flinch, waiting for the smiting.

Father is silent for a while. I don't breath. It's like if I do then the whole church will come down around me. I wait in anticipation for my reprimanding. The seconds seem to stick like molasses. Every second seems to drain on in this endless silence.

"This friend of yours, how long have you known him?" He asks quietly.

"Since I was little." I mumble softly.

"I'm going to be honest. God would not approve of your relationship."

"I know."

"What your friend is doing to you is wrong."

"But I like him back."

"No, he has just been preying on your weak state. You don't like him. Think about your future. Where do you want to be in ten years? Do want that kind of life for yourself? For your family? How will you have a family?" He goes on carrying on all my fears. I shake trying to hold in a screech.

"I... I need to go." I open the door and slam it behind me.

I run outside of the church only to be met by Annabelle. She has been one of my good friends since forever. She has long black hair and dark blue eyes. She was quite beautiful.

"Hey Jack." She said while walking over to me.

I tried to compose myself till she came over.

"Hey Annabelle." I said trying to calm down my shaky voice.

I hug her. "Hey Jack." She repeated.

"Where's Jack?" She said with a snicker.

I smiled lightly. "He had a thing." I said, not really knowing what else to say.

A smirk appeared on her face.

"You guys seemed pretty cosy at Sammy's birthday? Are you guys like... Together... Did something happen. Did you guys have-" She said.

"What would make you think that?" I snapped, lying my ass off, partially anyways. It's not untrue that nothing happened that night. But if she were to ask about the past week or so, then I would be definitely lying my ass off.

"Sorry, it's none of my business..."

"Yeah, Jack is just my best friend. No homo though."

And there is an actual lie.