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Chapter 54: Little Things

Cameron's POV

"Do you really expect me to forget everything that's happened between us Nash?" I was beyond furious now. How could he expect me to forget everything?

"I'm trying here Cameron." He rubbed his forehead.

"Try harder." I stated. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me. He then looked down. "Cameron. I need you. I really fucking need you right now." He said with pleading eyes. I sighed.

"You need to tell your parents."

"You know I can't do that." He said while shaking his head.

"Then I can't see you anymore Nash. I refuse to live a lie."

"You can't-not after everything we've been through." There were tears in his eyes. I didn't care.

"I have to go Nash." I said softly. He shook his head.

"Either tell your parents or... we can't be together." I said softly.

"I can't."

"Then I'm sorry."

And with that I turned around and started walking towards my apartment. I expected him to try to stop me but he didn't. I wanted him, all of him. Not some stupid lie. It's always a lie with him.

Once I got back to my apartment, Matthew was already up and drinking, what I presumed was a cup of coffee. He was also scrolling through my ipad.

"Matt, why are you on my ipad?" I asked while trying to take it back from him. He held it up and I couldn't reach it. He had a smirk on his face. I tried to jump and get it but I couldn't.

"You're so cute Cam." He took another sip from his coffee. I shook my head.

"We need to talk Cameron." He said in a serious tone. He put my ipad down on the counter. "I made you some coffee." He said while handing me a cup. "Thanks Matt." I said while taking it. The warmness of the cup was almost therapeutic.

I sat on the opposite side of the kitchen counter. Matt sat down opposite me. I really hope he doesn't want to talk about us again. Because I don't know anymore. I want to be with Nash but I know that won't happen. Not anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me you got offered a place at the BMA modeling agency?" Matt asked.

Oh. That is what this is about.

I got an email about a week ago stating that they want me to join their agency. It's always been a dream of mine to pursue modeling as a full time job. I was overjoyed when I got the news. There were just two problems that presented themselves here.

One, BMA was based in London. And that would be a far move. I wasn't completely sure if I could move that far away. Although, I would be willing to. I really would. It's a big opportunity and it pays big time.

Two, I have a lot of projects that I'm due to be working on in at the studios. Although, there is another branch in London. I was sure they could work something out so I could model and film at the same time. It would be pretty exhausting though.

I think that maybe the real reason I didn't want to leave was because of Nash. I knew that if I left, I'd probably never see him again. And I wasn't completely sure if that's what I wanted to be perfectly honest.

Some part of me wanted Nash to come with me. It would be perfect. We'd leave and it would only be the two of us. It was perfect. But I know he wont go for it. And also, I refuse to be his secret. He needs to tell his parents. He can't keep this a secret for the rest of his life.

I don't understand why things have to be so complicated. Why cant he just tell his parents. Why cant he just move with me to London, that is if I decide to go or not. There was a seventy-thirty chance that I'd actually go.

"Dude." Matthew said while waving his hand infront of my face.

"You zoned out for like ten minutes bro." He took a sip from his coffee.

"Sorry." I said softly while bringing the cup of coffee up to my lips.

"When are you leaving?" Matthew asked.

"I don't know. I don't know how i feel about the whole thing." I said truthfully.

Matt looked down.

"I think you should go Cameron."

This surprised me. I expected him to want me to stay.

"I'd never see you guys."

"That's bullshit Cameron. You know Shawn has a place there. Myself and the guys can go there whenever we want to. You will see us."

Shit. I knew he was right. The guys could visit if they wanted. And we all did keep in contact when we were separated.

"Is this about Nash?" Matt asked while raising both eyebrows at me.

"Partially."

"Cameron you can't-"

"I know I know. I'll think about BMA." I said.

"When do you have to get back to them by?" Matt asked.

I shrugged. "Next week."

Matthew nodded. "Think about it okay."

I shook my head. "I really want to go I really do."

"Then why don't you?!?" Matthew screamed.

"Because Nash-"

"WHY WONT YOU EVER UNDERSTAND THAT HE DOESNT LOVE YOU LIKE I DO?" Matthew shouted.

My eyes widened. "Matthew-"

Matthew cut me off by getting up, walking over to me and kissing me harshly.

And I don't know why, but I started kissing back.

//

QOTD: Do you guys watch Degrassi?

-I love it. It's my guilty pleasure.