Blind || Edwin Honoret x Y/N

ch 18 || letters

Nick's pov

the next day

I came back to the house. I spent the rest of the day and night at my girl's place. I had to get out of there and clear my head. I honestly don't want to be back but it is what it is. I have to deal with this. Edwin. Y/N. The band.

I opened the front door and the atmosphere was so melancholy. I sighed. The boys were in the studio recording and messing around. I heard them when I walked passed the garage, I didn't hear Edwin's elmo laugh so I assumed he's off somewhere.

I went to y/n's room to talk about this, now that I'm calm. See what she's going to do. I knocked on the door and I heard no response. "

Y/n I know you're in there, talk to me." 

Nothing.

"I get that you're pissed, let's just talk about it."

Nothing again. 

I sighed and twisted the doorknob to see if the door was open. She wasn't going to ignore me. I refuse to let her. To my surprise the door was open. Once the door was completely opened the first thing I noticed was the lights were off. okay...

Then I noticed the stack of boxes. alright...

Then I noticed the absence of Y/n. wait a minute...

I noticed there were two envelopes on her bed. One with my name. One with Edwin's.

I opened mine carefully, scared of what it was going to say. 

...

Dear Nick,

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry I went behind your back. I'm sorry I hurt you. That was never my intentions. You have no idea how much it sucked for me to not be able to talk to you about everything... you're my best friend. my brother. I've always been so proud to call you these things.

When you moved to LA to pursue your dreams with PRETTYMUCH, I felt like I lost a huge chunk of myself. I felt so alone. Then all this shit started happening at home. Between my problems at home, my crazy ass ex-boyfriend, shady ass friends, I just kept feeling more and more alone in this world. And I didn't even know that was possible. But I knew I had my best friend to talk to, even though he (you) was almost 3,000 miles away.

But alas, you convinced me and helped me move to LA. You saved me. You saved me from the misery and depression I felt when I was home.

But as I lived here I met someone. Someone that made me feel beautiful. Someone that made me feel heard. Someone that made me feel seen. Someone that made me feel loved. I've never met anyone like him. And, without warning, I fell in love with him. That deep love that hurts when you're away from that person. That love that makes your heart skip a beat when they say your name. That love that makes you feel like you're the only person in the world when you're with them.

I never expected any of this to happen, especially in such a short period of time. But it did.

But, I understand that you can't accept this. As much as I wanted to stay and fight for this love that I felt, I couldn't. I couldn't let you leave. I couldn't continue to put a divide between you and your brother. I couldn't continue to hurt you. So, I made the decision for you, Edwin, the rest of the boys, the beanz. I left.

I'm back in Jersey now. I love you very much Nick. I hope you could forgive me.

y/n

...

I folded the note and instantly felt like such a dick. I had no idea she felt that was for Edwin. I thought they were just sleeping together or something. I had no idea he made her feel like that. 

I grabbed the envelope that said 'Edwin" and walked out of the room.