Stuck On You

April 27, 2015

I had hoped that it had been a joke. There was the possibility that he would have turned his smile upwards; extending the mischievous line in his mouth to his eyes. It had been April fourth and that was a joke that would have certainly fooled me. Alas; here I was at his doorstep, praying to a god I didn’t believe in.

Begging that the laughter wouldn’t turn sour, my knuckles land against the cool wood rapidly. The laughter echoes. That alone may have been more painful than silence.

I had to be buoyant. The production, or lack, of laughter echoing out of an apartment was not going to thwart my intentions. The aura behind the door seemed to be mirthful, maybe I should accompany that presence with more content than it already possessed.

Michael slides open the door, opening me with welcome arms. I engage the embrace, using every muscle in my body not to seem embittered by the body lingering down the hall. Even her presence put me on edge, giving me a sense of caution.

Blurring the laughter with language, every breath wraps into one sound that I am unable to mentally form eloquently. The chemistry brewing in the room made me feel like a lighter next to a flammable concoction. With one flick I could burn the entire solution to ash.

“Anna, Sarah. Sarah, Anna.” Motions were waved and my own limbs seemed to respond.

A hand lifted from a tense cling to my side. My entire being wanted to cower in a corner, screaming over what a mess she could create if she stayed. I wasn’t someone who agreed with anything deterministic, but maybe it was always known that I would dislike this girl the minute I laid eyes on her.

‘Sarah’, whoever she was, was annoying by pure image. Her long tanned hair hung in ringlets around her shoulders. Those shoulders were carved with the ability to magnify her collarbones. Her cheekbones seemed to match in intensity. She seemed to be made of marble that had never been scrubbed down into a fluid curve. Every inch of her was edgy, poking and protruding out as if her bones were trying to escape.

Her eyes were something I could see males fawning over. She was someone who would be coddled. Her father would be some rich business owner, maybe a lawyer. Her mother would be a housewife, staying home to care for her and her alone. The result would be one incredibly selfish human being.

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Sarah nods, a flick of her head that makes me wonder how her head doesn’t snap. It seems to be held up on a toothpick…

“If Michael isn’t talking about music or video games, he usually talks about you. You two must be really close.”

I take my lip between my teeth, not bothering to be embarrassed by the compliment. Maybe she had intended it to be a warning? Maybe she thought we were too close. Good, maybe she’ll realize I don’t want to give him up to some ridiculous little girl. “We are.”

My hate for her was unrealistic. I’d never realized how irascible I was before. Although, I never really had anything to get jealous over before.

Was that what this was? Jealousy? I had Calum, why was I jealous? I didn’t like Michael like that. Did I?

Glancing at him seemed simple. It could easily be mistaken at this point as looking to him for guidance in furthering the conversation. I take a long look at this boy, the one who had changed my every molecule over the past few months.

He had taken my mind and molded it. I was a clay that never dried. Anything he stated was considered to be the truth. What if it had never been?

The slight snoring he emitted when he slept, I knew that. Did she? Michael’s favorite movies and why, I knew that. I knew his favorite video games and how horrible he was at them. He wouldn’t admit it, but I knew which ones would scare him because he became so involved he lost track of reality.