Stuck On You

June 30, 2014

How do I tell Luke that I made out with Michael while drunk? He’d be pissed at me for even drinking. I don’t even want to begin to think about how he might react if I told him that I made out with Michael.

It wasn’t just an innocent kiss. No, it had to be a full on make out session.

We hadn’t talked about it either. He ignored it. It had fucking happened. I was the one that was more likely to have forgotten about it too, I had been falling-over-on-my-face-pissed drunk.

I had been avoiding Luke’s texts over the past few days, giving him blatantly straight responses. It was composed mostly of ‘yes’ and ‘no’. He didn’t try to question it.

I did have to tell him. I told myself today would be the day. I couldn’t text it to him; I couldn’t look at him over Skype, seeing his face when I tell him might kill me. The only possible way was over the phone. That’s such a shitty way to deliver bad news.

Michael told me he would come over while I made the call. That was kind of him, being there for me when I needed him. He probably knew I’d need a shoulder to cry on.

He was sitting on my couch while I paced. The phone in my hand, the screen pulled up to Luke’s contact. All I had to do was tap the fucking screen. That’s all it took and I couldn’t do it.

“Anna, I can talk to him if you want.” Michael offered again.

I shake my head again. “I need to be the one to tell him.”

Michael nods again. We’ve been having this conversation for an hour.

I finally press the button, clenching eyes shut. I press the phone to my ear and my breathing becomes stagnant as I listen to the dial tone. One, two, three, maybe he wouldn’t answer. Four…

“Hello?” His deep voice sounded.

“Hi, Luke, sorry, I don’t mean to bother you-“

“No, you’re not. What’s up? Is everything alright?”

“Yea,” I look to Michael, who nods in encouragement. “I’m fine. I just have to tell you something.”I take a deep breath.

Luke hesitates for a minute before responding. “What is it?”

“Well, is now a good time? You’re not busy are you? I can call back later.”

“No, now’s fine. Are you sure everything is okay? You sound nervous.”

My breath hitches. “I fucked up, Luke. I really fucked up and I’m so sorry. I hate long distance so much, I knew this wasn’t a good idea-“

“Anna, what happened?” He sighs, assuming the situation. He was probably right.

I sigh, breathing out heavily. “I got really drunk. I know you hate it when I do but I couldn’t handle it. When I was drunk… I kissed Michael.”

The line is silent. For a minute I thought the call dropped or he hung up. “Hello?”

“Yea, yea, hi, sorry, I’m just thinking.” Luke states. I can tell he’s biting his lip. “I think…” He pauses for another minute, trying to collect his thoughts. “I think for right now, it might be best if we broke up?”

I slowly let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “I really am sorry, I can’t even begin to explain-“

“Anna, don’t worry. This is why you didn’t want to do long distance right? It has been hard; I’ve missed you a lot too. I think, until we can see each other regularly again, it might be best if we just broke up.”