Hero's POV
"Alcohol poisoning" the man announces loudly as he takes the thermometer out of my mouth. He throws it in the trash can and takes his gloves off and puts them in one of his pockets. I'm watching his every move so that I don't have to look at Josephine I've tried to avoid her judgemental glares and making eye contact with her. I can feel the anger radiating of her. If I'm being completely honest I'm kind of scared for when the doctor leaves, I'll be left alone with her to put all her anger out on me.
My ears are ringing already and I don't need her to be screaming at me. "There isn't much more that I can say other than to get some rest and to not do much. I will give you some medication to give him twice a day but other than that there isn't really anything else to help." He
tells Jo. He's barley looked at me the whole time that he's been here. The few times he has he's given me disgusted glares. I'm just as disgusted with myself as he is. A random man.
Before I can stand up to grab the bin I'm sick all over the floor again. My throat is burning and feels dry. I try to say something, anything. I just let out a croak instead. Josephine turns around taking her eyes off of me. I drop my head in embarrassment. I've fucked everything up, my own girlfriend can't even look at me anymore. I try to clean up my own vomit but the doctor stops me and does it himself. I lie not moving on my bed. Everything is spinning still, even half an hour later once the doctor has left and Josephine is sat on the chair in the corner of the room.
She hasn't said a word to me, I don't know if I want her to. The silence is better than a screaming match but silence isn't going to fix anything. I don't even know if she will want to fix things after what I've done. I hear her take in a shaky breath. I know that she's going to speak soon. Sooner than I thought actually. "This isn't normal Hero." She sighs. It feels like she just stabbed me in the chest and twisted it around and around. I feel like everything inside of my body is going to collapse.
"I can't have you as a distraction. I need to be focused and so do you. For the fans." I know how much fixing this movie means to her, she was broken when she saw that the fans didn't like the novice and I don't want to see her like that again. The not selfish part of me wants to agree with her and end things. I know that's the right thing to do. But I can't.
"No, Josephine I can fix this. I won't do anything like this ever again. Please just give me a second chance, I can explain." I beg her, I'm ready to get down on my knees and beg this woman who has my mind and soul in her control. The way that her eyes begin to glaze over tells me everything. She isn't going to do this again. She shakes her head and wipes away a tear that betrays her and rolls down her flushed cheek. I want to stand up and wipe her tears away but I think she would hit me if I touched her.
I sit up so I have a better view of her. "We can't break up. I won't let it happen." I try to deal with her but my demands are just making this worse. "Please let me explain why I did all of this." I want to tell her so that I can get rid of my worries but she just shakes her head again. "I can't do this." She whimpers and is about to stand up before I jump out of my seat and grab her wrist. She looks down to where our hands are connected and mutters "Get the fuck off." She pulls her wrist away and I let go instantly. I feel defeated.
"We are Hardin and Tessa." I mumble. "What?" She asks her brows knitted together in confusion.
"I'm just like Hardin, I'm insecure and will mess everything up! I already have, for fuck sake." I curse to myself over and over again. "You have no reason to be insecure! There is literally nobody else Hero!" She shouts at home, her eyes are wild and her hair is falling out of her pony tail with each move she takes. "You're just making this about you. That's what you always do." Her words are harsh, I'm not making this about me.
She used to constantly complain that I didn't say what I was thinking enough and that we would just argue instead of sorting our problems and I'm trying to be mature and fix things and admit how I feel and she tells me that I'm making this about me? "Fuck you. I'm trying to tell you how I feel and you throw it right back in my face." My voice is shaky, with anger. I have so much to say too her but I know that my words are too harsh.
"You was out all night and didn't tell anyone where you was! We was all worried sick! And your making excuses for what you did?" Her voice is even louder than it was just moments ago. I suddenly don't care about the way her voice is repeating itself in my head or the way my ears are ringing. "I'm not making excuses I'm trying to tell you why I did what I did!" I shout back. My voice is much louder than hers and for a second I see her eyes flash with guilt. She knows that I'm right about that.
"You could have sent me a message or anything but you didn't." Her voice is weak now, like she's given up. "I tried to but my battery died just before I could send it." She shakes her head softly. "I can't do this."
"You're giving me whiplash." I tell her, she takes in a deep breath like she's about to yell at me again but she doesn't. Instead she just sighs, "What are we Hero? Because you haven't even said if I'm your girlfriend or not." She asks the question that's been fucking with my mind the past few days.
"That's one of the reasons why I flipped my shit." I tell her, I want to get everything out. Even if she isn't listening or doesn't care, at least I know that I tried to fight for her, for us. If there even is one. "What do you want hero? You're the one that has to decide this, because if you mess up again I'm not going to do any of this again with you and I'm deadly serious." I feel like none of what she is saying is making sense.
"I want you to be my girlfriend but you always get frustrated to me and don't listen. How am I meant to ever fix things if you never listen?" I ask her, I want us to be okay I want to be able to call her my girlfriend but if we aren't going to act like a couple what's the point? Couples aren't constantly having screaming matches and leaving all hours of the night and getting drunk.
"Then fine. You're my boyfriend. But we need to sort things out because if we don't then I don't think any of this will work. Okay?"
"Okay."
