Josephine's POV
I feel my body slowly caving in. I open my mouth and shut it instantly, I want to scream at the top of my lungs but I can't. My throat is dry and closing up on me. My eyes take in the sight before me. I blinked repeatedly praying that this is some sort of fucked up dream, that when I open my eyes Hero will be sat alone rather than inanna kissing him. I feel worthless. What did I do wrong? What does she have that I don't? I slowly back away from the two of them and silently walk away trying to make as little noise as possible.
When I get away out of view I run, instead of going to hero's trailer i go to my own for the first time in days. I slam shut the metal door and slide down the side of it. The whole trailer shakes and I break down. I can't hold back the tears that are streaming down my face. I always knew that inanna was willing to do something like this but I never knew she would actually do it. That he would go along with it, I've never felt heartbreak before. Loosing hero last year was awful but I was holding on to the idea of restarting our summer romance and making it something long term.
It wasn't me who ruined the relationship this time, it was him. I hold my head up by my shaking hands and take in deep breathes to try and control myself. Why wasn't I good enough. I feel used and manipulated, I fucking sucked him off less than 5 hours ago and now he is kissing another girl. I pushed back my insecurities and acted the way Hero likes his girls, confident. I'm far from that but he didn't know that, him cheating on me just knocked me down more than I could even imagine.
Hero's POV (seconds before Josephine left)
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I shout and push inanna off of me, she lands with her back on the ground. I feel no sympathy for her. "Fuck you." She spits at me and hurried up on her feet. She runs off and I feel frozen to my seat. What the fuck just happened. I wipe my lips on the sleeve of my jumper to try and wipe off her lips that I can still feel lingering on mine. Thousands of thoughts are running through my mind, all of them being based about jo. Do I tell her? Or do I keep it a secret and let things stay civil between the two of them.
I stand up and make my way back to my trailer, I plan out an apology in my mind for how I acted earlier. She was right with what she said but I was just too stubborn to realise it. I start the forever wheel of blaming myself. If I didn't leave for a smoke I wouldn't have gotten in that situation with inanna. With each passing second I think of more and more shit that's going to be effected because of what she just did. Matthew, does he know that she cheats on him? Is he okay with that?
I feel a sort of guilt coursing through my entire body despite me not even doing anything, I pushed her off the seconds after she did it, I was frozen at the time and didn't move for about 3 seconds before I shoved her off me. I feel disgusted with myself and dirty. I open the door to my trailer and slump down on my bed. It's been made and Josephine's phone is gone. Fuck, she's gone back to her own trailer. I walk into the bathroom and run the two, i grab the small piece of cloth rub at my mouth to get the feeling of her lips off mine. It doesn't seem to be working.
I need to go apologise to jo for how I acted before. I lock up my door and navigate my way through countless trailers until I end up outside hers, all the lights are out and i wait a second to see if she makes a sound. Nothing. I tap my knuckles on the cold metal door, loud enough so she could hear it but not loud enough to wake her if she was asleep. I wait a few minutes and knock again, she doesn't come to the door. It's silent all around and the only thing I can hear is the thumping of my heart in my chest.
I take my phone out of my pocket and send her a message.
Hey, I'm sorry for how I acted before. I came to your trailer but you wasn't there. Can we talk tomorrow?
I hesitate to double message her, my mind is fighting with itself and I give in.
I love you.
The second the message goes through I regret it, I swallow back the bile gathering in the back of my throat and drag my feet back to my own place. We've only said I love you to each other once and we haven't said or spoken about it since. It keeps me up at night wondering if she really meant it.
And I guess tonight is going to be another one of those nights.
Josephine's POV
I hear the crunching of the rocks under someone's feet just a few feet away from wearing I'm lay. On the other side of the wall but too close for comfort right now. A few torturous seconds pass by and there is a knock. I can tell from the knock that it's Hero. He is the last person I want to see, I stay silent and hold back the sobs that are threatening to escape. I clamp my hand over my mouth and cry silently and pray that he leaves soon.
My phone lights up and I have a new notification, I glance at the bright screen and it's from him. Another message comes through not even 10 seconds later.
I love you.
How the fuck can he say that?
