Recovery | On Hiatus

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

HAYDEN NOTICED MY change in attitude the moment he entered the room. "Is everything okay? You look a little angry."

Not angry, just not sure what I should do. "I'm fine," I automatically said, then corrected myself. "I'm—I'm confused."

"About what?" He pulled his keys from his pocket and held a hand out in front of him toward the entrance. "Ready to go?"

Nodding, I followed as he held the door for me. I didn't speak until we slipped into the car, he started the ignition, and we were on the road. "Laura thinks I should tell you everything."

Wide eyes shot to mine, and it occurred to me that Hayden had probably come to believe he would never know the truth. "Why are you telling me this?"

There were several reasons, actually. I was tired to lying to my best friend. Tired of hurting him. But most of all, "I think she's right. You deserve to know the truth." He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand. "I need to know something first, and I need you to tell me the truth."

He didn't expect that, and the unease written in those multicolored eyes made me think he knew what I was going to ask. And I wasn't going to like the answer. "Will this decide if you tell me?"

"It will," I told him honestly. When he said no more, I took that as my chance to speak. "If I give you his name, are you going to go after him? No matter what I say to stop you?"

There was silence, and a lot of it. He thought about my question the rest of the ride to his house, and it wasn't until he pulled the keys from the ignition did a look of determination cross his face. We sat for a moment in the dark, the only light coming from the moon above us. Then he turned to face me. His eyes scanned my face like he was memorizing my features, just as he had in the closet at the party after our kiss. I briefly wondered if he might do it again, but he spoke before the thought fully formulated. "Yes."

At first, I wasn't sure whether I was relieved or disappointed, but quickly realized it was the latter. I wanted to tell Hayden the truth, but his answer strengthened my resolve to keep it from him, at least until Darrin went back to college. He had just admitted to me that no matter what happened, even if it meant him getting hurt, he would still go after Darrin. No force on this earth could stop him. Some part of me wondered if his resolve would crumble should he find out it was Darrin, his childhood idol.

Before I could stop myself, I reached forward and pressed my palm to his cheek, my thumb gliding over his cheekbone. The look in his eyes was equally regretful as it was determined. A part of me wished he would've lied, but I knew him well enough to know he'd tell me the truth, no matter the cost. And that truth nearly broke my heart. "I'm so sorry, Hayden. I can't let you put yourself in danger over me."

His hand slid over mine and he closed his eyes. "I made a promise to you, Scarlet, and I intend to keep it."

"I know," I said, and it was the truth. I let my hand fall from his cheek. "I wish things were different."

      He unlocked the doors and climbed out, rounding the car to my side. He presented his elbow to me, so I laced my arm through it and laid my head on his shoulder. "I do too," he said after a moment.

✦

      Today marked the official start of our two week Christmas break. Sasha and Laura were mysteriously fine, although Laura went out of her way to avoid Aiden and remained attached at the hip to David for emotional support. Hayden and I refused to talk about our kiss, or the strange way our friendship had changed since that night.

      In other words, everything was more or less back to normal.

      "Hayden!" I shouted, starting at the array of outfits laying in front of me on the bed.

      He twisted the knob and ducked his head in. His attention shifted to the scars my shorts exposed on my legs, but he didn't comment on them. "I was busy getting ready."

      I grabbed his wrist and pulled him farther into the room. "What do you think I need your help for?"

      "I'm a guy! What do I know about fashion?"

      I scanned his faded jeans and the black T-shirt he wore every chance he could get. "No, you're right. You know nothing."

      He fixed me with a glare before focusing on the clothes: his blue hoodie with a pair of ripped jeans, the blue dress I wore at the party with Laura's hose, or the red, three-inch cropped long sleeve that Sasha insisted would look amazing with a pair of high waisted jeans. "Go with the red," he finally said, then grinned. "It's fitting."

      I ignored his joke. "What if it's supposed to be formal?"

      He threw his hands up. "Why ask for my advice if you're not going to take it? It's not going to be formal," he assured.

      My shoulders sagged in relief. "Thank god."

      "At least, I think so."

      I threw a pillow at him, to which he laughed and quickly darted out of the room to safety.

      To say my nerves were strangling me would be an understatement. The Christmas dinner with Darrin and my parents was tomorrow evening, only twenty-seven hours from now. I knew my mom well enough to know she wasn't going to let me stay the night at Hayden's, not on Christmas eve.

I tried pushing my nerves aside and slid into the outfit Hayden picked out, focusing only on today. The whole group had plans to go to the shopping center today for Christmas gifts, which we planned to give out at Sasha's party she was hosting on New Years for just her close friends.

Hayden pounded on the door. "Are you ready to go? We're going to be late."

My gaze landed on Hayden's hoodie on the bed and I briefly considered throwing it on, just for comfort's sake. An evening with friends sounded amazing, but a night trapped with Darrin did not. I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm ready."