Pas Peur {Elu}

Where are you now, I need you

Lucas's P.O.V.

Cool wind, sunlight, warm skin, arms around me , legs tangled, soft hair tickling my neck.
Eliott's scent was all around me. I felt happy, happy for being here, happy for having the chance to be here. To face my fears and get the best outcome.
Eliott shifted beside me and his breath on my back sent shivers down my spine which made me giggled.
He ran a finger down my back and that's when I knew he was awake. "Bonjour baby" I said turning around to face him. "I missed you when I was sleeping." I chuckled as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. Chest to chest , stomach to stomach , thighs tangled.
"So what are we doing today?" I shrugged my shoulders "maybe take pictures and stuff?" He smirked grabbing tighter at my waist. "And what's that stuff?"
He flipped us over , now he was on top of me "you mean something like this." He said and he started to kiss me immediately. I smiled into the kiss and then we both pulled away. He was still on top of me, brushing hairs out of my face. "Let's move to Paris , together, move in together!" Eliott said suddenly and I was shocked my heartbeat got faster but I liked the idea. I caressed his cheek with my hand. "I like the idea actually but it's a lot of work..." "we can do it I'm sure" I smiled flipping us over so I was on top of him basically sitting on his lap.
"Well I'm also sure we can do it , but we have to finish school and go back there , save money , buy a house and stuff we need you know." Eliott closed his eyes as I leaned my forehead against his. "We could do it all together. Lucas..." he sighed and opened his eyes kissing me gently on my lips. "There is something you need to know... and it's big..." he stopped to lock eyes with me. "What is it?" "His expression looked tired , down and a little sad. "I just don't know how to say it." He pushed me off and sat straight on the bed and looked into my eyes and suddenly got up and walked towards his clothes. He looked out the window when he was dressed. Standing there , silent. Something about this silence scared me. Without a word he left the room. I sat there on the bed shocked as he shut the door behind him and left me there , all alone , feeling confused and oblivious to what happened. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom and washed my face. Looking at myself in the mirror for a couple of minutes.
I wore my clothes and got out of the room and into the elevator. When I got to the lobby I went straight towards the reception desk. "Good morning, how can I help you?"
"My boyfriend, um , Eliott demaury , he has this messy brown hair, he's tall and he's wearing a brown coat, he left and ... did you see him or did he call a taxi or I don't know." She nodded and looked at me with a worried look "yes he left and he didn't call a taxi and didn't inform us where he was going." I rubbed my forehead trying to ease the stress or the pain I was feeling. Eliott is bipolar and he's gone and I don't even have a phone to call him.
"Can I please use the phone?!" She nodded and I turned my way towards it. Who was I gonna call?! Eskild ?! Yann?! Who exactly?! Before I knew it my hand dialed Yann's number. After 2 or 3 beeps someone answered and It wasn't Yann...
"Hey , so I know you wanna talk to Yann but I am Sana , Yann is having a party and he's waisted so i answered the call in the room." I rubbed my forehead and looked around. "Sana... hi so um I'm Lucas , Lucas Lallemant , I have a class with you."
"Oh Hi Lucas!"
"Ugh so this is really weird but I need to tell someone about this."
"Is It about Eliott?!"
"How'd you know?!"
"I know you two are dating it's all over the school, Also I'm sorry for the brain tumor now you're okay right?!"
"Sana , Sana ! I'm alright now I'm okay , how do you know Eliott?!"
"He was my brothers friends back a long time ago, we used to be close."
"Okay great, wow , I mean , you know he's bipolar right, and I don't have much time , but we are in this hotel in Paris and he just left the room and he's gone , didn't tell me where he was going and now I am all alone here and I just..." I started to tear up by the end of my sentences as she cut me off. "Hey hey, Lucas, calm down boy , take deep breaths , just know that , wherever he is , he will be back. Just go to the room and wait. If you are too anxious to do that just take a walk around. That's the only thing you can do for now alright?!" I nodded not even realizing that she can't see me over the phone. I'm such a fool. "Well yeah , you're right , I will just do that." She sighed over the phone and I could feel that she was really trying to help me. "Thanks Sana , you are a guardian angel." She giggled and hang up suddenly.

So I threw on my coat and walked towards the entrance door and informed the receptionist that I was going for a walk and if he comes back just tell him that I went for a walk.
Where  could he be, where could he go?! What the fuck was going on. I'm all alone in this and he has gone out.
I walked around for a bit more and got myself a new sim card and dialed Eskild's number.
After a few more beeps he answered me.
"Hey?!" I smiled because I missed his familiar voice around the flat. "Eskild , it's me Lucas!" His breathing got quicker over the phone and his voice got louder. "Lulu , baby how are you , are you even alive , we were waiting for the call , since the doctors here were in touch with the doctors there we heard about the situation and I am really sorry Lu, at least you're still here with us right ? For now!" I sat on a bench in a park near the hotel so I could keep control and for a moment my mind blurred out. "Eskild what are you talking about ? What situation?! I'm here (and I'm queer lol) I feel great."
"What? You know about your brain tumor and ..." i saw Eliott running back towards the hotel he had tears in his eyes. Were there tears shining on his cheek? I suddenly got up not bothering to listen to the rest of the talk. "Ekild I have to go , I'll call you later." I hang up and walked fast enough to get to him.

He wasn't in the lobby he could be in our room.
I started to almost run towards the stairs , too caught up in the thought of Eliott to wait for the elevator.
I ran stumbling on every step.
The door to our room was open and it was all quiet. I walked inside. There was no one there.
The water in the bathroom was running. I walked towards the bathroom as fast as I could.

There he was , sitting in a bathtub full of water with tears in his eyes. His clothes were soaking wet. He didn't raise his head. Not even once. I rushed to him not caring about my clothes. I sat in the bathtub behind him and held him close to me. Letting his name stumble down my lips many times without even controlling it. "Eliott Eliott." I ran my hands across his shirt taking it off him as he leaned back into my chest. I slowly took mine off and held him close to me. He turned around crawling into himself like a scared raccoon and cried into my chest.
I turned the water off and held him closer. Now we were both cuddled up in a pool of water in silence. Eliott's breath was coming back to normal now and he stopped crying. I heard words coming out of his mouth silently but they were gone before they were out. "Shhh I'm here." I said into his ear slowly caressing his hair. "I thought... I thought you left..." I shook my head squeezing him tight. "And I actually thought you weren't coming back Eliott, I was just out there looking for you." He slid out of my embrace and slowly started planting kisses on my chest and my neck. They were still warm and soft. I ran my hands on his abs and slowly around the back of his neck and head and pulled his head closer to mine. Forehead to forehead. "Don't ever leave me like that again Eliott. Don't even dare to take my life away from me like that ever again." Eliott shook his head still with tears in his eyes. Our noses were rubbing together. Our lips fighting to finally touch. Our tongues were desperate to feel each others warmth.
His lips slowly moved on mine as he pulled away again. "We have to get out we could get a cold." I nodded and before I could get up. He was carrying me out of the bathroom and undressing me out of my jeans and my boxers.
"C'mon wear something warm before you catch a cold baby." I smiled and obeyed.
He also changed his clothes and we both lied down on the bed. He had me in his arms and I had my head on his chest. None of us felt like talking. It was almost afternoon now. We both slept until noon this morning and after that we both didn't eat anything for hours until now. We were hungry but we didn't feel like getting up either.
While laying there I thought things over. First Eliott wanted to tell me something and then Eskild.
I felt like the universe was hand in hand trying to keep me from knowing something.
And I was just there watching it all happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The universe is spinning around and I feel like I am out of my body watching my mind and my heart fighting each other and I can't do anything if either of them gets killed cause I'm just there counting the scores to know who won.
-Oceansonmars

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