Pas Peur {Elu}

Did you know?!

Eliott's P.O.V.

Lucas called Eskild after we got back to the hotel and talked with him in a different room what I know was that he was asking for someone to get us at the airport and he said that a friend of Yanns who is already in college and owns a car will come for us.

That night we spent the time talking about our first time we saw each other and we talked about all the things we were missing back home.
We talked and Lucas told me about his mother , of how
She died of tumor. He described what he saw and I saw him standing there. A little boy with tears in his eyes , trying to ignore his mothers screams behind the door that separated them. He stood there and held onto his favorite stuffed animal for dear life hoping for his mommy to come back out the door and fix him dinner and call him out on the table when his dad got home.
But she never did, after hours of struggle , she died.

By the time he finished,both of us had tears in our eyes.
Mine was for many reasons, every now and then I could imagine myself standing instead of Lucas and instead of his mother , in the back of my mind in that room, was Lucas screaming. It teared my heart apart as I cupped my hands around my mug of warm tea.
The Tv was on but the sound of the music of the live jazz concert was faded away in the background of our talks.
"What about your father?!" I asked looking directly into his tired eyes. "He left when I got into school he rented this flat for me to stay with a roommate and he left to travel the world, find better jobs , he sends money tho which I am really grateful but I still have to find a part time job when I get into college."
"God Lucas you've been through a lot!" I said moving down closer to him opening my arms wide as he crawled in between them. "Yeah but I am glad I met you Eliott, now I feel calm and when the tumor even went away , I am really glad , like I am the luckiest man alive.everything just came to me in a whole black mass of problems and it all faded away like it was nothing at all, i don't even know how I got here and I am grateful."
I was glad he couldn't see the tears shining in the corner of my eyes.
Lucas.... lu , my love , my light , i wish it was easy to tell you all this but you'll have to know , I don't know how and when...but you really have to...

The night faded away with Lucas cuddled up into me and the Tv on as we both fell asleep. The tea was finished and it made me feel warm and soggy as my eyes closed. The warmth of Lucas's body pressed up against mine was enough to take care of everything that could made me fall asleep.

Focus on the moments Eliott, focus , after 5 years you will lose this feeling and it will be the worst loss of your life.

But how? He was supposed to heal after this surgery and now they say that they cut all the symptoms and the headaches but it's gonna blow again in 5 years , oh and also , it will kill him. They just increased the amount of time he was going to live.

Was I talking in my dream? Was Lucas listening to me now?!

// // // // // //

Lucas's P.O.V.

It was almost 4 am when I woke up and went to the bathroom pulling myself slowly out of Eliotts arms so I wouldn't wake him up. I fixed myself a cup of coffee and sat back down on the couch lifting Eliotts feet as they landed in my lap. His hair messy and a few parts of it were in his eyes. Our flight was at 6:30 am and I was early to get everything ready after a cup of coffee while Eliott slept.
The passports and the two suitcases and the backpack that Eliott carried. I looked at all the choices of clothes that Eskild put in the suitcase before closing it up.
I had to call Eskild again, I remembered he wanted to tell me something which sounded so important. I dialed the number of our flat and waited for a few beeps and after a while , it wasn't Eskild who picked up the phone.
"Hello?" This voice, it is familiar.... oh the girl ! Sana! Right "Sana?" She sighed from the other line and I could feel her nodding "yeah Lucas , I am sorry again, Eskild having a party and guess what, the girls asked me to come and accidentally I am sitting exactly next to the phone again!" The sound of the loud music and the laughter of wasted people was ringing in the background as she talked. "Oh God , Sana , so I found Eliott and thanks to your help honestly!! But I wanted to talk to Eskild he wanted to tell me something really important and I keep thinking about it!" "Oh I am really not sure but after he got out of the hospital and knew about the bad news the doctors told him which I am really really sorry about that Lu, that surgery was supposed to stop it all and it's only for 5 years?! He has been different since then , he keeps getting wasted , I'm not really sure if he can talk right now." Were my ears lying to me?! Was all this just an Illusion or reality?!" "Babe?! Who's on the phone?!" I heard Eliott from the couch and then Sana calling out my name. "Thank you , sana, I will talk to him later then..." and with that I slammed the phone down.
Walking slowly towards the kitchen where Eliott was "who was it lu?" I couldn't really focus on his words when I asked "Eliott, did you know about it and didn't tell me?!" There was shock in his eyes but he still looked at me in a questionable way. "What are you talking about Lu?!" Before I knew what was happening I felt tears flowing down my cheeks.