jellyfish hearts

as i

as i ran into the woods

as i jumped off of the balcony

as i slit my wrists with the pencil sharpener's unscrewed razor blade

as i used the box cutter as a piece of weaponry

as i closed my eyes and swallowed the pill bottle

as i turned off my thoughts and shoved down my sanity

as i cried my final tear and swallowed all of my emotions

as i drove into the canal's shallow waters

as i crashed head on into the tree

as i took the final wrong turn
and cried out screaming
Jesus Help Me!
and He told me
There was hope for me.

as i left the forest behind me

Jesus whispered to me

what you never could

"I love you Phillip. Eternally."