Burn Your Local Church

Attached

Chapter 12:

"No," I explained as we walked away from the park. "Don't tell me that I'm all you got and don't tell me you rely on me. You've known me for two days and if you start relying on someone within two days... Well that says a lot about you." Cameron didn't speak for a while. I could tell he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't leave his lips. He was contemplating what I said.

"But isn't that what chicks wanna hear? Somebody relies and loves you?" I stopped walking because we were at the corner of a busy intersection downtown.

"Love? " I questioned, making sure to exaggerate the word.

"Uh yeah. Love." We started walking across the street and onto the other sidewalk.

"Love doesn't exist." I said quietly.

"Oh really?"  I nodded my head.

"Love is just something the movies put into our head. Its a false feeling. We make it ourselves. It's not like pain or happiness, its fake."

"Nah." Cameron shrugged.

"Well do you love anyone?"

"No."

"Exactly."

"What's that supposed to prove?"

"My point."

"Do you rap?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Your comebacks are fast. You could be dangerous in a freestyle." I internally blushed.

"Oh," I laughed a bit awkwardly, "thanks."

"You have anxiety don't you?"

"What? Yeah. Is it that noticeable?" He bit his lip and nodded.

"Yeah, lil bit."

"Sorry. How'd you figure it out?"

"The bus, you wouldn't get on. The people, you were awkward around them. Simple things."

"Yeah.." Letting my sentence linger in the air.

"How does it feel?"

"Unfair. Its terrible not being able to be the person you want to be."

"Explain."

"Anxiety holds you back or people think you're two faced. You will be happy at school or with your family, but then you go out to the world and you break down." I paused and gave him time to contemplate. "That's not who I want to be."