Burn Your Local Church

Secrets

"Cameron!" I yelled out as I ran across the street and got some well deserved honks. Cameron stopped in mid step and turned around to see who was calling his name. Once he realized it was me, I was already standing in front on him. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around my cold body and embraced me.

"Jamie." He whispered. I giggled when I felt his warm breath hit my cheek.

"Hey." I said in a mocking whisper.

"I know your secret." My heart dropped in my chest and my face turned bright red. I was overwhelmed with fear and I knew that if Cameron knew the truth, I would be isolated in this shit of a world.

"W-what?" I stumbled over my words.

"Your secret." We both stopped whispering and we we're frozen in the middle of the sidewalk.

"What secret, Cameron? I'm an open book."

"Ah, ah, ah." He said in a joking tone. "I know about you and Zach."

"Yeah." I said in a happier voice; relieved that this was the  secret  he was talking about.

"So what's the deal with you two?"

"Uh, we know each other."

"No shit. But how well?"

"Not that well."

"I call bull."

"What?" I've never heard that term before.

"You're lying."

"No really." We started walking and I shoved my cold hands in my pockets. "I don't know him that well."

"Well I know him." I nodded not knowing what I should be respond with. "He talks about this Jamie girl quite a lot."

I internally blushed. "That's nice." I said hiding my cares.

"Oh come on!" He said. "Isn't their something between you and Zach?"

"For the last time, no."

Cameron put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay."

We both let out a slight laugh and ignored the topic. There isn't anything between Zach and I anyways.

He is so deep in the friend zone.

*  *  *

Cameron and I were sitting beside each other on a park bench at the city's biggest park. It was basically empty except for the few kids who were brave enough to bear the freezing cold weather.

Cameron had gently brought up the subject again, and I'm pretty sure he just wanted reassurance that I was single.

"We see each other everyday." I started. "But not in that way. I pass him on the sidewalk everyday."

"What? How? He leaves town every morning at like 9 am."

"I wake up really early." I snapped. I completely forgot that Cameron doesn't know about me... And my background.

"Oh." Cameron said but I could tell that he didn't completely believe me.

"Yeah. But I mean we barely ever talk, so I'm open."

Cameron let out a big laugh. His laugh made me laugh. "You're open?"

"Single. I meant single." I giggled awkwardly.

"Well isn't that great news."

"Yeah, why?" My heart began racing and my fingers were crossed, and every atom of me was hoping he would ask me out. Ask me to be his.

"I don't know." He said.

"Yeah I don't know either." I said and got up, off the bench. "Single doesn't mean anything, right?"

"It means a lot." He looked up at me and the sun glistened off of his green eyes the same way the sun reflects off freshly fallen snow.

"No, no it doesn't." It took every ounce of strength to keep denying what I've been denying forever. Love.

"Single just means you're ready for someone. And when you fall in love, you're no longer single."

"What the fuck? No." I said. "This love thing, doesn't fucking exist."

"Okay."

Wow. "Okay" is all he says.

"I have to go, Cam. Bye."