Burn Your Local Church

Blankets

"Mom I'm fine." I said biting my lip.

"Where were you all day? Its practically midnight and you just got home."

"I was in the Christian City with a guy."

"A Christian guy?"

"Yes. But it's not like that."

"Jamie. What have I told you about that?"

"Don't get attached to people." I said, restating what my mother had said when I was six years old.

"Exactly. So what will happen when you spend a large amount of your time with some guy?" She said it in a questioning tone but I knew she knew I knew the answer.

"I'll eventually get attached to them."

"And we do not need that nor do we want that," I shrugged, "especially with your seventeenth coming up."

'Shit. Shit. Shit.'  I thought to myself. 'My seventeenth birthday,'  I started over thinking. 'Cameron. The people. His friends. His people.' I knew before I even began contemplating the idea that burning down anything was a bad idea. But now that I actually have a connection with someone, makes it all even worse.

I gave my mother a weak half smile before heading up to my bedroom. I silently walked around, feeling a cool breeze rush through my window. I walked over to the window and quietly closed it before laying down in bed. I still had my jacket on, along with my day clothes, but at that moment in time, I couldn't care less.

It had been a solid hour and I was still laying on my bed thinking about everything. I mean how bad would it be if I was different? I asked myself. What if I don't see the world the same way everyone else does? Is that okay? Will everyone hate me?

The air in my lungs escaped and I quickly sat up. I had a minor panic, then decided it would be smart to fall asleep and turn off my brain. I gently took off the jacket I had worn all day, and placed it on the floor beside my bed. I got under the covers and wrapped them around me. I embraced the warmth and comfort they offered. 'If only humans were like blankets,' I giggled inside my head. 'None of this would be happening if humans acted like blankets.'

I soon started to let the thoughts leave my head, and I eventually got too exhausted to think. I let myself fall asleep.

I never had any dreams that night.

I felt lonely.

I miss Cameron.

Shit.