Out of Control ✔

EIGHTEENTH CHAPTER

Get outta here. Get outta here!

Juanita had been on the run for such a long time that her instincts were trying to take over again. However, a part of her disgusted herself, knowing that she was a pathetic coward. Cruz's lasts words kept circling around her head; that she was no better than her father, than the murderer of her mother. With her choices she had punished the wrong people - and worse; two of the people she loved the most. 

And so, she kept sitting at the couch as if she was glued to it. Cruz's dark eyes were keeping her in place; he gave her the feeling he would knock her down the moment she would move. However, once the door bell rang he had no choice but to open, although she had already figured out there was only one way in and out the first time she'd been here. All she could do, was run for the kitchen and grab a knife. Something which was a little over the top since her life wasn't in danger. 

Heavy footsteps came closer, a moment later Angel appeared in the doorway. His face was grim, but he couldn't banish the emotions from his eyes. In silence he sat down across from her. For at least five minutes he just stared at her. Juanita tried to avoid his glance, shifting her attention to Cruz. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

"Why, Juanita," Angel said.

The silence had been so heavy that he sounded like a thunderstorm, even though he barely raised his voice.

She heaved a deep sigh and raked his hands through her hair. "He hit me."

Angel lifted an eyebrow. "Who?"

Instead of casting her glance at the ground, she looked him straight in the eye. "Dad."

Different emotions washed over Angel's face; she saw shock, disbelief, anger, guilt. They were all competing for priority, making him look like a statue, not able to move. 

"Why?" His voice sounded hoarse. "Why would he ever do that?"

Juanita shrugged her shoulders. "Listen... It's a long time ago and I really don't wanna talk about all the shit that was going on. I discovered some things about his past, confronted him with it and it drove him mad. He beat me up and I left."

Angel narrowed his eyes; it looked like he was making a puzzle, realizing he missed the most important pieces. "It doesn't make sense. You could have told me and I would have made sure it never happened again. You know that."

"I couldn't live with him any longer. I hated him." Her jaw tensed. "I still hate him. I'm never going back to him."

Angel sighed. "We could have found another solution. I was about to move out, you could have come with me. Damn Nita, there were a thousand solutions!" He slammed his hand on the table. 

"This was the best one."

"The easiest one!" he snapped. 

"You think livin' on the streets was easy? It took me years to find a place that felt a bit like a home! I was broken, Ang, I was fucking broken. I didn't want you and Zeke to go through the same shit so I kept it to myself. I did it to protect you."

"It's bullshit! You could have come back! You could have lived your life among Los Olvidados and reach out to me, tell me that my little sister was fucking alive!"

"Yeah well, I didn't," she answered shortly. "What's done is done. Now you know; I'm still alive. I'm fighting on the rebel's side, I like what I do and I'm not going to change that."

"Don't forget to mention that you're fuckin' my brother," Angel grunted. "My best friend. How the hell did you think that would end, huh? Bein' some mysterious Old Lady who never shows up? Playing ghost the whole time?"

Her eyes shot to Cruz, who stared back at her. 

"We just wanted to fuck," she answered. "There was never anything serious about it. It was fun while it lasted, guess we're done now." Looking at Cruz, she raised her eyebrows questioningly. 

"Don't put me in this," he said darkly. "This is about you two."

An awkward silence fell. 

"So what now?" Juanita asked. "I'm not coming home, Ang, and I'm not going to tell you what I know cuz I wish I'd never known. You're already up to your neck in cartel shit, you better not start a fight within your family."

"Our family," he snapped. "And you really think that fight's not gonna happen now I know what father did?!"

Juanita sighed and rubbed her temples. "Can we not do this now? I've just seen three burnt bodies. I just wanna sleep okay?"

"So you can flee at dawn again?" Angel taunted. 

Juanita shrugged her shoulders. "Ain't a lot of places I can go to anyway. Already asked Cruz if I can stay here for a while."

Angel narrowed his eyes as he snapped his head towards his friend. "If you agreed to that I'm gonna rip off your balls."

"I did," he answered. "Before she told me who she was."

She rolled her eyes. "So? Can I stay here tonight? I'm too tired to fuck anyway so don't worry about that."  

Instead of waiting for an answer she simply walked to Cruz's bedroom, leaving the two men alone. Right now she didn't care what they would do; she just wanted lie down and forget about this shitty day.