Out of Control ✔

TWENTY-FIRST CHAPTER

At first, Angel only stared at her. 

Juanita understood. Someone telling you your father had worked for a cartel — it didn't happen every day. And especially not by someone who had been missing the past eight years. 

"I — I don't get it. Our Pops?" he stammered. 

"Yeah."

"But... How...?"

"I just came home from school when it happened. When Mom was killed. I saw the killer leave the butcher shop — and it was a boy. Fourteen, fifteen years old. Why would such a kid want to hurt Mom? They called it a robbery. But I saw the boy's face. He was crying. Because he hadn't intended to kill someone? I don't know — but Mom wouldn't have tried to stop him from robbing the money if he was waving with a gun. It just didn't feel right and I started to ask Dad questions. Whether he believed it could be an intentional kill. He believed it was — I could see it in his eyes. But every time I tried to pry further, he responded more angrily. And so, I decided to find the answers myself. I went through his stuff, his drawers — until I found some old pictures. In the end, I discovered that Jose Galindo and dad had been close, and one conclusion led to the other. I confronted Dad, he told me it was none of my business. Said it was a former life. I told him it was bullshit, and that Mom had died because of something he had done. Then he lost his mind, beat me up. I left, and after a while I met this rebel girl and she took me to their camp. You know — it broke me, finding out about the gruesome things Dad had done. I wanted to protect you and Zeke from his secrets, so you wouldn't have to feel the pain that I felt."

For a long time, Angel was silent. His hands shoved across his face. "You really think knowing about Pop's shitty history is worse than having to miss you for eight years?" He looked up, his jaw tense. 

"I thought that you two needed Dad more than me. And I wanted to be away  for only a short time. I just wanted to deal with things and come back, but it became harder and harder to return once time passed by."

Angel heaved a deep sigh. Juanita said nothing. She understood that he needed time to process this, she had needed time as well. Therefore, she decided to bring up another subject.

"Cruz told me he told ya. About my plan with Nestor."

"Yeah." It was more a grunt than a word leaving his lips. "That plan is just as idiotic as leaving us without a goodbye."

"Infiltration is never idiotic — that is, if the infiltrant doesn't fuck up. I can't assure you that I'll get my hands on important intel, but I'm careful enough to make sure nobody will find out about my ties to the rebels."

Another deep sigh left Angel's lips. "I can't talk you out of this, can I?"

Steadfast, she shook her head. "No, you can't."

. . .

A few days later she was sitting in a bar where she had seen Nestor go to a couple of times. Never for long — his spare time seemed to be very limited. Disappearing into the crowd for an hour at most, that was all the freedom he had. Once he left the bar again, he always returned to the Galindo house. 

Juanita was sitting at the end of the bar, sipping from a drink. From the corner of her eye she watched the door. While she waited, her thoughts involuntarily wandered off to Cruz. She was living in his house for over a week now — and she had barely seen him. Most days he didn't even come home. 

In the rebel camp she had always been surrounded by people, and Juanita needed time to get used to the silence. It made her think about things she didn't want to think about — like how she could restore her relationship with her brothers, and whether she wanted to see her father ever again. And she thought about Cruz too. About how much him not showing his face was bothering her. She had believed there had been something between them — something that might have grown into something more if they had given it some room. Her exposed identity however had ended it brusquely — and now, she missed it more than she thought she would. 

Ah well — there was nothing she could do about it. 

This mission was more important than a undoubtedly doomed romance with Cruz anyway. 

She sat a little straighter when Nestor entered the room. Immediately he walked to a corner of the building, where he greeted a woman by kissing her cheek. 

Oh. 

Juanita hadn't exactly counted on the fact that he might go here to meet someone special. What if he was dating this woman? She couldn't see her face, but she was undoubtedly pretty. While Juanita watched them, her shoulders slumped down. 

You really thought this was gonna be easy? You're a fool, Juanita. You're a fool.