Daydreamers, A Poem✔️

Chapter 25

My mother is ashamed of me;

I've destroyed any chance with Jorge;

Professor Dalton is disappointed in me;

Lee won't answer my texts.

I think I've officially reached rock bottom.

I am so sick of this—

Of my careless disregard for anyone other than myself.

I crawl into bed, and cocoon myself in darkness.

It welcomes me and me alone,

A realization I don't want to face.

There are no more tears to shed,

I am the cause of my depression.

I glare at my ceiling, tired of daydreaming;

The guilt claws at my reckless insides,

The pain like my guilt-covered hands.

How can I claim to know what love is?

I shove my face into my feather pillow;

Screaming at the ache in my chest.

I am a selfish prick—

And I have no excuse.

If I had a mirror,

I know what I'd see:

Fear of the unknown and known;

Fear of who I think I am and who I might be.

I'd sneer at the cowardice,

But when the tears fall, and the tumbler clicks open—

Instead of exposing my neck to the final kill,

I'd embrace it.