I Need To Change

Chapter 79

A few weeks had flew and it was finally the last day of court for me. That whole thing seemed to be going on for so long, it was draining. But the day had finally come that it would all be over. I sat in that court room nervous as hell. My leg was shaking as I chewed on my bottom lip. I was trying to keep it together, but I was just nervous thinking about what my consequences would be. I had never been in any type of trouble before so I didn't know what to expect. My lawyer had assured me it wouldn't be anything too drastic, but I just wasn't sure. In my mind I was looking at the worst. Throughout the whole trial nothing was looking good for me, so I knew it wasn't going to end good neither.

I sighed, seeing that the judge was ready to tell me my verdict. I was thankful that I didn't have a jury on this case. I think having that would have put so much more pressure on me. I probably would've been really stressed out.

I sat alongside my lawyer, listening to the words leave the judge's mouth.

"Ms.Smith, you are ordered to pay a $1,000 fine and compensate Ms.Valdez for her injuries and medical bills. You will also be ordered to be on probation for a year. You must comply with the court-ordered rules and conditions under the supervision of a probation officer. Failure to comply with these rules and conditions can and will lead up to you serving time behind bars. This court is adjourned."The judge stated, slamming the gavel down before standing from his seat. Everyone began to stand, happily ready to leave that damn court room, but I was low-key stuck in that moment.

Although this didn't seem too bad to others, this was traumatizing to me. That money meant nothing, but the moment I heard probation I was not here for it. I know, I know I should've been thankful that nothing much serious happened and I didn't go to jail, but like I said a thousand times before, I was young and stupid, not thinking about reality. Because in reality I could've been sent straight to jail, but instead he put me on probation. I was just upset about that because the first thing that came to my mind was weed and the thought of giving that up had broke my heart. I knew being on probation I would have to stop smoking and that had killed me. I had literally got to a point where I needed to smoke everyday and me now being on probation, I could no longer do that.

I sighed as I stood from my seat being lead out the court room with my mama and lawyer right behind me. That had honestly been there for me through that whole case and I was thankful for them. The moment I walked out that door cameras and microphones was being forced in my face. Luckily my security was able to block them because they were coming so hard. I blocked my face as I proceeded outside, heading towards the truck that was waiting for me.

"I love you baby, I'll call you once you make it to the house."Mama said as she hugged me. I would've went with her after court, but she had to go pick Nya up from my father and I did not want to be there for that.

"I love you too."I admitted.

I climbed in the truck and my driver immediately took off to the house. The moment I climbed into that car I could feel how sick I had became. My stomach was going crazy and my head was spinning. I literally felt like I could pass out at any second and this feeling was so sudden. I didn't know if it was because of what the judge had just told me or what. I just knew I felt so sick to my stomach.

When we got to the house, I wasted no time running upstairs to my bathroom, throwing up all of my emotions and insides. I sat there on that floor for a while just gagging, feeling a headache trying to consume me. My overall mood was so crappy this day. I woke up just trying my hardest to feel good about the day. To hold a high head, but I honestly couldn't. I felt terrible. From the moment I woke up I felt so sucky and I didn't know what to do about that.

I wiped my mouth with some tissue before tossing it in the toilet and flushing it. I laid there for a good five minutes more before I finally talked myself into standing up and brushing my teeth. All that throwing up had me so tired. I literally could've just climbed in my bed and slept my life away. That's how exhausted I was.