Pure

6

-Demi

I'm trying very hard to be the bigger person here. I know I have to be, I'm the adult in this situation. But I'm just so sad that this is what she's turning into. I was really hoping she would prove me wrong. I was really hoping I could prove Maggie wrong. But so far she's making it really hard for me to do that.

I thought it was a good thing when she was awake this morning before I left. I really didn't want to have to wake her up, being that she really could use the extra sleep. But when I came back from my run and walked into the living room, I really thought my head was going to explode. Her friend was still sleeping on the couch when I left, but when I came back the two of them were very much awake and butt naked going at it, on my couch! And all I could do was wish that I hadn't told her to be up before I would leave. She's sixteen, for heavens sake! What does she need to be having sex for? Besides for the fact that I have below zero interest in seeing either her or that friend of hers naked, I really didn't need to have this picture in my head. And yes, it wasn't one of my rules not to fuck in my living room, but that was because I thought it was common sense. So after they quickly pulled away from each other and covered the appropriate parts of their bodies with the blanket he'd used, I very calmly told them both to get dressed and the boy to make himself scarce before I came back down from my shower.
Calm is the complete opposite of what I'm feeling right now and this shower that I'm taking is much longer then usual. One, because I don't know what I'm gonna do or say when I face Cara again and two, because I wanna give them some time to make sure he's really gone before I come back down. Cause if he's still there, I will not be able to pretend to be calm anymore.
I'm so extremely tempted to call Maggie and tell her about this. She's my best friend, she always knows what to say and she can always make me laugh. And that's really what I need right now. A very good laugh. But I can't call her. I can't show her how extremely right she was. I can't let her think that I've already given up, cause I haven't. Am I upset? Yes, I'm furious. Am I hurt? Yes, I'm very pained by all of this. But does that mean I give up and kick her out? No, absolutely not! Aside from the fact that I already love and care about her way more then I thought I would, I also believe that she's not really as bad as she seems. I just need to find a way to get through to her.

I'm surprised to see the backyard and living room completely back to normal when I come back downstairs.
"I put all the stuff next to the door. I don't know where you store it," Cara mumbles, as she runs past me and races up the stairs into her room, closing the door with a bang.
She's clearly ashamed of herself and I can't exactly say I feel bad for that. She should be embarrassed. But the fact that she cleaned all the stuff up and took apart the tent instead of leaving it for me- that's the part that I'm holding on to. That's what shows me that she isn't a rebellious troublemaker. She isn't a bad kid. She's just going through a tough time and she's figuring out how to deal with it.

I'm not sure how much more I can handle, though. I mean, I can take talking back and insulting comments. I can even take disobeying and breaking rules to a certain extend. But what she did last night- purposefully coming back drunk, practically asking to be punished -and what she did this morning, I don't know how to handle that. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with such behaviour. Yes, I believe there's good in her. I believe she is good. But this is taking things to a whole new level.

"Hey, Cara," I decide that I'm just gonna let it slip this time and not mention it. I anyway don't know what to say, so I'll just pretend I forgot about it. "I've made you breakfast, It's waiting for you in the kitchen," I knock on her door.

She's been in there for close to two hours, which is not strange, she's sometimes there for much longer then that. But she hasn't eaten anything yet and I'm sure she's hungover so she needs some water. "Coming in a minute," she replies softly enough for me to almost not hear it.