Pure

15

-Caterina

If I thought I didn't like sex before, I can definitely attest to that now. With Demi's words ringing in my ears so loud and clear, how can I possibly enjoy any of this. Why does she have to be so damn right? Why does she have to bring up the things I'm trying not to think about? Fuck her!

Dexter can see that I'm clearly living in a different world right now, my mind is totally somewhere else, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much- not yet at least. It always takes him a while to stop thinking of his own pleasure and realize I'm not up the same alley as him. But it really doesn't bother me either. I mean, if it did then I wouldn't even be here in the first place.
But clearly my moral compass has been very confused ever since I left home and it just hasn't been sure on how to judge situations that would've never even been an issue back at home. So many things wouldn't have been an issue. Life was so simple. Especially being the youngest, everything was served to me on a silver platter. Spoilt little brat- only way to describe me really. But my parents and siblings always made sure I didn't let it get to my head. Yes, I did get my way more then other people and yes, they did spoil me rotten. But they always reminded me that life outside of the four walls of our house wasn't as sweet and that other people didn't care for me being the little princess of this family. So even though I was able to pull all my strings and tricks with them, I shouldn't even try with other people. And I never did. I mean, if I may say so myself, I used to be a very nice person. I inherited my sister's personality and she's like the sweetest person to have ever walked the earth. I was always friendly and happy and just fun to be around. That's what everyone told me and it was good. Life was good.
But, when you make the decision to run away and you end up in the streets, a sweet personality like that will end you up dead before you even get out of your own neighborhood.

"You up for a drink?" Dexter asks, once he's all done relieving himself inside of my body. And yes, we used a condom in case you're wondering. As much as I didn't like Demi to get involved, she is right and we do need to be more careful. My mother clearly is quite a fertile woman- she had eight kids in the span of fourteen years. If I inherited any of her genes, his hard penis coming within half a foot from my vagina without even touching it will already get me pregnant. There's no guarantee I won't be eating for two at the rate I'm going if we're not careful. But I obviously can't tell Demi that she's right. That would be like admitting defeat and there's no way in hell I'm ever gonna do that.

"Yeah, I guess," I nod, picking my underwear off the floor and pulling it on. "Maybe we can go to a different club, you know, shake things up a little," I suggest as I'm putting on my bra.

"We can try," he doesn't sound too convinced. "But I'm not sure we'll be able to get in. You know, I don't know anyone who can pull strings for us," he does have a point.

"Okay so why don't we go see one place and try it out. If it doesn't work we can go back to where we always go," I say.

The plans seems pretty solid, until we get to some bar that's actually surprisingly close to Demi's house. The security guard is like legit. He takes his job way too serious and he's clearly not dumb. And for some irrational reason it just makes me want to get in even more then before. "Cara, he's not letting us in," Dexter tries to pull me away.

"No, come on, we have to try," I pull him back.

"I wouldn't wanna piss him off," he insists. "Have you seen the size of him? He'll send you flying with a flick of his finger, Cara," he's probably right but my brain is totally not thinking straight right now and I don't seem to care.

"You're not getting in, little girl," the guy says before I even make it to the door. "I would get lost if I were you," he warns. "And fast. Cause it's not gonna be pretty."