Pure

18

-Demi

I'm not sure what to make of it, but then again, you can never be sure with this girl. One moment it's this and the next moment it's something else. One minute you can think you might have gotten the hang of it and the next minute she proves you dead wrong.
I'm not even surprises anymore. I feel like nothing she does will ever be able to surprise me anymore. Not when she's being a bitch, not when she's being friendly, not when she's opening up and not even when she's cursing me out. For sure I like some of those more then others, but it just doesn't surprise me.
She could throw a rock at my head- dear God, I hope she won't ever feel the need to -and even with a concussion I will still not be shocked. Speechless? Maybe. Probably, actually. But not shocked.
She could come running my way and wrap her arms around me tightly- I'm secretly hoping that will happen one day -and even without air getting through to my lungs I will still not be shocked. Flattered? Very. Extremely, actually. But not shocked.
She's just so fucking unpredictable and all over the place, I've just learned not to expect anything. So when you have no expectation, nothing can come unexpected. It's simple as that.

That being said, I'm not sure what to make of this situation right now. I know she knows I wasn't talking about me and Maddie. I was talking about her not having said even one nasty thing to me the whole entire time that Maddie was here. I was talking about her being so extremely friendly and nice, not only to Maddie but to me. I was talking about her not having been even a teeny weeny bit of a bitch for almost a full week.
But I'm going along with her. I don't mind her talking about her family. I like it actually. I'm getting to know more about her, getting a bigger picutre, learning about where she really came from and who she really is.

"Were you close with them, other then that one sister of yours?" I ask.

"I guess you could say so," she answers. "When I was a baby, they were all obsessed with me. I used to be really cute," she chuckles. "When I was like two and three. I had this really long curly blonde hair, and these clear blue eyes- I get those from my grandfather, by the way. He has the craziest blue eyes I've ever seen -and this cute little baby nose. My oldest sister is a photographer so she wouldn't stop taking pictures. There's more picutres of me then of all of my other siblings put together. And then my oldest brother got married when I was like seven and he had a baby a year later and there went all my glory," she smiles brightly. "My niece stole my thunder, but my goodness you should see her. Absolutely adorable, I can't even explain. And then less then two years later they had another baby, gorgeous little girl. Not even just cute, like her sister, but absolutely gorgeous. My oldest sister would snap these picutres of her, she could've been a model. Anyway," she waves her hands. "I'm totally going off topic here. But yeah, so I used to be like the little princess but then I got older and everyone developed their own lives. And I mean, we're all still pretty close I guess you could say. But my sister, Tali, the one I always talk about, I'm definitely closest to her. We shared a room until she left home and then every time she'd come visit until she got married. And then she would call me, force me to talk about my day and tell her things, even though I had nothing to tell her. But she needed me to talk to her, she claimed. She needed me to come live with her, which I obviously didn't do. My parents weren't exactly ready to give up on their baby yet. She was having a really hard time and for some reason I was her solution," her voice is getting a little heavier and I imagine this is emotional for her. I don't even know why she's telling me all this, it's like she's giving me her whole life story. "It's like she wanted to come back home, but she knew she couldn't. So by talking to me I was giving her that piece that she couldn't have. I was the only one that was always home whenever she came, you know my older brothers had all moved out or were doing other things. But me being the youngest, I was just always home. So I was home for her. It fucking hurt, Demi," she looks at me and whispers. "Seeing her struggle so much. She didn't tell me she was struggling, she just always wanted me to talk and hear my voice and she wouldn't tell me much of what was going on with her or what was bothering her. I mean, I was still a little kid at the time. I didn't realize how much she was hurting. She only told me all about it last year, when she decided I was old enough. And it all started making sense to me. I mean, back then I knew something was wrong but I could just never figure out what was bothering her. But I got older and wiser and it all clicked. It made so much sense. And I was her escape, that's how we kept close even more after she got married. I used to go over to her house every day after school as soon as my parents let me walk there, to help her out with her kids and just spend time together. She's been the greatest gift I've ever had, even though she claims it's the other way around," the tears are welling up in her eyes, but she's refusing to let them out. "She's amazing, Demi. She would love you. She would treat you so much better then I have," she lets out a sad chuckle. "She's not great with strangers and starting conversations, but once she'll get comfortable she would love you so much. She is amazing."