Pure

9

-Caterina

I know I should not have done this. If I have come anywhere near close to being able to predict Demi, I know that right now she's freaking the fuck out. I have probably just turned one of her worst nightmares into a reality.
Maggie is probably enjoying it, though. Soaking up the Caterina-free moments as much as she can possibly enjoy them. Probably also rubbing in Demi's face how right she was about me.
But I really couldn't care less right now.

I really just needed a breather. I just had to get away on my own for a bit. I haven't really been able to do that at all since I've come to Demi's house. But back at home we lived very close to a forest, so at least three times a week I would wander there on my own, getting my thoughts straight and just breathing in the fresh air- by myself. It's something I just need every once in a while. And since I've been by Demi I just haven't gotten the chance to.
So I grabbed it now. Granted, I shouldn't have left the cabin so early in the morning, before either of them were awake, as if I'm trying to make a run for it. I could've just waited a bit or at least left a note to let Demi know that I'm fine, I haven't gone anywhere, I'm not planning on going anywhere, I just needed a breather and some privacy.
But, should've, would've, could've, right? That's what my sister always used to say when I started talking about all the things I should've or could've done done differently. However, I didn't. Instead I decided to leave purposefully before either of them were up. It's not like I wanna worry Demi- Maggie doesn't give a shit anyway so I'm not concerned for her in the slightest -but I also just wanted to leave without her knowing where I'm going. I wanted to just have a little bit of freedom and go explore on my own. I'm a little nervous to come back though. I don't know if she's gonna scream at me, she has yet to do that, but she'll for sure not be happy. So I'm making my way back very slowly, stretching it out at much as I possibly can.
I even tried getting lost. Another thing my sister also always used to do. She is the most non-adventurous, adventurous person in this world. When she plans a trip she always needs to have all the details figured out and know exactly what's gonna happen when, but then once she's actually on the trip she forgets it all and decides she wants to get lost and turn it into an adventure. My family is not great at getting lost though. We all have a very good sense of direction and as much as we try to get lost, we always end up exactly where we're supposed to be. So as much as I tried taking detours and getting lost, I can already see Maggie's aunt's cabin just a couple more steps away.

I walk up to the front door and slowly open it, as quietly as possible. Maybe by some miracle they're both still sleeping and won't even know that I left. "Oh, my God," no such luck. "You scared the living shit out of me," Demi wraps her arms around me, but pulls away as soon as she realizes she's hugging me. She's never hugged me before. I think she's a little scared to. And honestly, if I was her, I'd be scared too. I don't give off a touchy feely vibe, even though I totally am. I would always snuggle up with my mother in her bed or with my sister whenever she'd let me- she's not a snuggly person at all, she doesn't like being touched most of the time unless it's a hug from someone she loves, which thankfully includes me. "Where were you?" She asks, as she passes me a cup of tea.

"I went for a walk," I say, as I take a seat on the couch, holding the warm mug in both of my hands.

"What time did you get up?" She sits herself down on the other end of the couch.

"Dunno," I shrug. "Around six, six thirty, I think."

"Do you know how scared I was when I didn't see you in bed, or anywhere else in the house, when I woke up?"

I laugh a little as her question. My prediction was totally on point. "I can imagine."

"It's not funny, Cara," she says in a very serious tone of voice. "I was worried. You could've found a way to let me know you're okay or wait until I woke up or something. I've been sitting here for two hours, scared out of my fucking mind. I even went out to look for you, but I had no idea which direction you would've gone in."