𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬, shawn mendes

three

cassandra mendes
03/05/28
1:32pm
los angeles, usa

"Luna?" Emilia repeats, eyes wide as I retell the story to her over the phone. "Who the fuck is Luna?"

"Avery and Ezra's side mom, apparently." I mumble, balancing my phone between my shoulder and my ear as I make my kids their lunch. They're in the cinema room, watching some cartoon, safe from hearing me express my feelings down the phone to my best friend. "Can you believe that? We're sitting in the car talking about their weekend and Avery goes 'You're still my main mom?'"

"Main mom?" She repeats again. "Main? What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, for one, Shawn's dating again." I sigh, opening the overhead cupboard to grab some ketchup. I squirt the sauce on in a smiley face automatically, knowing it makes them giggle every time. "Without warning me. I mean, I know I don't have the right for him to tell me everything but just a little note would've been nice."

"Do you know what she's like?" Emilia asks, forcing me to picture her in my head.

"I don't wanna know." I reply, "But I already don't like her."

"Don't blame you." She chuckles wryly, "They must be serious. If she's met the kids."

Again, something I didn't really want to think about. "I'm guessing it was the first time. They've never mentioned her before, and Shawn has never been like that around me before."

"Like what?"

"Well, he's been bitter and patronising for a while now." I explain, "but he's never shown that side in front of the kids."

"Mommy!" Avery shouts from the other room, her voice sounding the way it does when she's about to tell on Ezra.

"Got to go." I tell Emilia quickly, "Any quick advice?"

"Call him. Tell that asshole how you feel." She says firmly.

"On it. Absolutely." I nod, ending the phone call rapidly.

"Yes, sweetie?" I coo, popping my head around the door to see her chasing Ezra for the TV remote.

"Ezra won't let me watch what I wanna watch on TV!" She pants, still chasing him around the cinema room. "He says it's for babies!"

She's clearly no match for him, her chubby, five-year old little legs not able to carry her at the same pace as Ezra's agile, 8-year old ones. I pick her up and spin her around, distracting her momentarily from the most important thing in her little life.

I look in her eyes, seeing nothing but innocence. It's relieving, even though I envy her oblivion to her whole world being flipped upside down. She was barely three years old when we lost Iris, far too young to comprehend what that really meant for our family. I can't imagine she even remembers the times before her life was like this, only her and her brother being passed from our home to Shawn's every weekend.

And if that kept her happy, if it kept the smile on her face and the look in her eyes one of pure innocence, then I'd make sure she'd never have to get hurt again.

I break away from my thoughts, snapping back to reality as I place her back on the floor. "How about we all watch a movie, all three of us?" I suggest, hands on my hips.