𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬, shawn mendes

nine

cassandra mendes
15/05/28
6:30am
calabasas, usa

Routine. After two years of having my usual routine interrupted, today is the day I finally get it back. My alarm wakes me up at 6:30 and somehow I manage not to press snooze, rolling out of bed and getting dressed into the outfit I'd planned for today. Simple black jeans and a white shirt is all I need until I get to the set, fully prepared to throw myself back into acting after a two year break.

The excitement was so overwhelming that it's only when I put my keys in the door that I remember the events of last week, a change from the rest of the week. Shawn and I had barely spoken, and he'd even been petty enough to send Aaliyah to pick up the kids the following weekend. When I asked where Shawn was she'd looked awkward, brushing it off and changing the subject.

The last time I saw him replays in my mind as I stand rooted in my spot, completely zoned out.

"I'm here to ask you — how could you?" Shawn replied, an indecipherable emotion in his voice.

"How- how could I what?" I answered. The step backwards I instinctively took sent me straight into the wall behind me.

"How could do something like this, Cassie?" He asked, oddly calm in his tone.

The argument that ensued after he uttered those words was exactly what I'd feared on the drive back from my surprisingly amazing day out with Harrison. I'm sure if it were anyone else he wouldn't have reacted in that way. But it's Harrison. And Shawn. It was bound to happen.

Or was it? No matter how deep Shawn's insecurities about him run, all that happened a decade ago. And I chose Shawn. Why does it still bother him that years later, even after Shawn and I's relationship has ended, I'm spending time with Harrison? My brain can only rationally come up with one reason, and even that seems absurd for me to believe.

The sound of my car engine snaps me back to reality, and I realise that I'll never know. And the conclusion I'd come to was definitely not the case. I remind myself of this as I reverse out of my driveway, and chide myself for allowing to get distracted on a day as important as this one. Drowning out my previous thoughts with my travel playlist, the journey to the studio takes no time at all.

Soon enough I'm outside the nearby Starbucks, smiling at a text from Harrison saying that he's on his way. We'd exchanged numerous texts over the past week and maintained our plans to meet just before our first day of shooting. I only look up from my phone to take an occasional photo with a fan, which unsurprisingly happens 5 times within the 8 minutes I wait outside for him. He eventually turns up and promptly apologises for his lack of punctuality, blaming traffic. I nod politely and head inside with him following closely behind, trying to stop my girlish smile at the sight of him. He's dressed in a tight white t-shirt and black dress pants, making the look effortlessly sexy. He's undeniably attractive, yet whenever I register that fact in my head an image of Shawn appears. I repeatedly brush it off, beyond frustrated at myself for making this about Shawn when it should be about Harry, and me potentially moving on. Who knows. It's too early to tell, I remind myself.

"Got your lines all memorised then?" He smirks as we take a seat in the corner, both of us with coffees in hand.

"You know me." I retort with a giggle, reminding him of how meticulous I've always been about my lines. I knew a lot of actors, especially ones with years of experience, who chose not to learn their lines anymore and rely on intuition instead, and I knew I could never do the same. Despite the script being the skeleton of an actor's performance it was still important, and I felt I owed it to the hardworking screenwriters to at least learn my lines. "Have you?"

"Only because you'd complain if not." He remarks with a smile, "So what do you reckon then?"

"To the movie?" He nods, "I've been out of practice for so long that anything would be good. But as far as I can tell, yeah, I love it. I can't wait to bring it to life.

"Neither can I. And can I just say, it's an honour to be working with you again. You've come so far since the last film we shot together. I'm proud of you, Cass."

I find myself blushing at his comment, looking away from his gaze shyly. "And you too, Harry. You've done well for yourself."

We chat for an hour longer until it's time to head to the set, both of us ushered into separate directions to begin the process of becoming our characters. And looking in the mirror when it's over and I become my character I smile, knowing that for the next few days of filming I can let almost everything go, and immerse myself in my work.

And that's what I do. At least for 8 hours, until Harry approaches me at the end of our first day of filming.

"How does it feel to be back in business then?" He asks me, leaning against the wall casually.

"Great." I smile, meeting his eyes, "And I had fun too. With you." I add, feeling oddly bold.

"I had fun too, Cass. With you." He chuckles, leaning forward. For a split second it feels as though he might kiss me, a fact that registers in my brain the same moment the thought of Shawn appears. And it's this that makes me look away, so fast that I startle Harry. He blinks and looks at me with concern written on his face, taking a step back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking." I respond.

"About?" He persists.

"I don't know. Lots of things."

"Like?"

I chuckle, "You don't give up, do you?"

"Nope, never. But you already knew that." He smirks, taking a step forward so we're face to face yet again.

"You're right, I did." I laugh a little louder than I intended.

"So, these thoughts you were just having," His eyes meet mine, "Fancy telling me them over dinner? Say, 8?"

"Tonight?"

"Tonight."

"I... uh..." I think for a second, "You know what, sure. The kids are with my mom, so yeah."

"It's a date." He smirks, a sparkle in his eye I've seen many times before. It's a little brighter now, and the last thing I notice before he turns on his heel and walks away.

A date. I haven't been on a date in years.

gigi's note —

so apparently i'm back?? i know it's been months but i hope you're all still interested in this book!! i'm gonna try update as regularly as possible now i have some inspiration back.

sorry this is a lil short though!

thanks for all your support on this book while i've been gone!! <33