𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬, shawn mendes

six

cassandra mendes
06/05/28
8:43pm
los angeles, usa

Loneliness is a strange concept. You can have as many people surrounding you as possible, and still feel like you're completely on your own. Or you can physically be alone, and feel absolutely fine. It all depends on other emotions, really.

But right now, I've never felt more alone. Cars surround me from all angles as I pull onto the highway, some new song by an up-and-coming rapper blaring from the speakers. I turn it to silence, finding I can focus on that rather than everything else I feel.

It takes what feels like hours before I'm pulling into my drive, the cold hair causing me to shiver as I unlock the door. The house itself is cold, emptier than it's ever felt before. And maybe the reason why, is because the warmth that used to fill this house to the brim, that made this environment a home, is now present somewhere else. With Shawn, and his new life.

I change into my pyjamas, feeling ridiculous for even trying to intimidate Luna. She has the upper hand, because she's his now. I'm just his past, just a memory she's trying to overcome.

There's nothing that could quite stop what I feel right now, but there's someone who could dull it down, even if just for the length of a phone call. I pull out my mobile to call Emilia, desperate to call and explain the nights events. But there's no answer, not even from her.

There's only one other person that can do just a fraction of the relief my best friend offers, and it's someone I haven't spoken to in a long time. It's Aaliyah.

The phone rings twice before she picks up, sounding surprised. "Cass? Is that you?" She speaks, the sound of shuffling audible.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry to call you out of the blue like this, but I didn't know who else to call."

"Is everything ok?" She asks, her voice adopting that same worried tone Shawn's has when I call him.

"Yes. Well, no. Not for me, anyway." I explain, "I just really need someone to talk to."

"Ok, sure. I'm all ears, like usual. Talk away." She tells me, "What's wrong?"

"I met Luna tonight." I state, picking at a loose thread on my cotton shorts.

"Who?"

"Uh, Luna. Shawn's... his new girlfriend." I clarify, my heart skipping a beat.

"Shawn doesn't have a new girlfriend." She replies, sounding thoroughly confused.

"Yes he does, Liyah. I met her tonight." I reiterate, equally as confused. How did she not know?

"This is literally the first I've heard about any new girlfriend. And I saw him two weeks ago. He didn't mention anything about some Luna. Are you sure?"

"Yes, Liyah. I'm sure. He's happy with her. So fucking happy. The kids love her, he loves her, they're all so fucking happy. Except me."

"What's she like, then? This Luna woman."

"She's, I mean, she's beautiful. That's obvious. She seems... nice too. She's good with the kids, they really like her. Which I guess is the most important thing."