Ineffable Omens (Crowley x Aziraphale)

Standing Scared Outside A Cold Church, Soul Search

Aziraphale had never felt it physically hurt to be in a church. They had always been such beautiful places to him, but now the whole place emanated a foul hatred of him. He wasn't supposed to be there.

He stood outside the magnificent building, a place which had once felt like a home to him, but which now felt daunting and terrifying, like every force of Heaven and Hell were working together to keep him out. He stared at the building, dread seeping into his still-pure heart, his stomach sinking. As he stepped onto the church grounds, the soles of his feet burned, and he hurried quickly inside, trying to ignore the pain.

He fell to his knees at the front of the church and brought his hands together to pray. "God, hello, it's me, Azi—Azira—A—I can't say the name. I know that anyone else would be angry. That I should be angry. You really screwed me over after 6,000 years in your loyal service. I don't deserve this. But I'm not mad. I'm confused, but I know this ... all of this ... is a part of your ineffable plan. I don't know how, but I trust in it."

The consecrated ground was beginning to singe Aziraphale's blackened trousers. "I am still the person I was before and I promise I will continue doing good work. I am still your loyal servant. I'm not giving up now. I'm still a good person. I'm still Azira—" he choked on the name again. "I guess I'm Crawly now, but I wear that name with pride. It's the name of the man I love, a demon who right from the start found it in his heart to do good. He's good, and nice, and caring, and I love him so. I don't know why Your plan involves ripping him away from me, but if it must be, it must be, I'm not one to argue."

Aziraphale sighed. "Another angel might've told you your great ineffable plan was codswallop. But I'm tired. My whole life I've simply tried to do right by the people. To fight for my side, but mostly to help people and keep them on the right track. I'm not stopping now. I may be a ... demon ... now, but I'm going to continue to do my work for as long as that's possible. But I didn't come here to blabber. I'm afraid ... I'm afraid that the Crowley I know won't be the one he is now. Without knowing me, will he be the same? I need ... I need to know someone's looking after him."

Aziraphale was silent for a moment, and he shifted momentarily to relieve the pain from the burning floor. "Some might wonder if you're even there," he said quietly. "I know that's stupid. But I wish you would stop playing games. Tell me what you want of me. Tell me what to do. Who to be. I dedicate everything to you and ... this? It wasn't supposed to end up like this. I feel so ... alone ... and lost ... nothing makes sense anymore. Just let me know you're there."

Aziraphale got no response, and he stood up, leaving the church. The moment he stepped off church grounds, the pain faded, and he remembered what it felt like to walk without a searing pain in your soles every step. 

He was going to have to get used to this life. The pristine Principality Aziraphale was now the lowly demon Crawly.