Ineffable Omens (Crowley x Aziraphale)

Screw Ineffability

Crowley sulked around his apartment, kicking whatever was available, trying to make sense of whatever was going on inside his head. He didn't fit well in this angel form. His entire body burned, like the holiness in him was trying to burn out whatever demon there was left. The thing is, there was quite a lot of demon left. He unfolded his wings and started anxiously pulling out feathers, the sting he felt from the action grounding him in reality.

He had to fall. He knew that was his only course of action. He knew he would be a disappointment to Aziraphale, but he disappointed everyone, so that wouldn't be anything new. He spent the next month avoiding Aziraphale and doing everything he could to fall. He didn't perform one single miracle. He refused to. He spent his days tempting people, engaging in worldwide demonic deeds, he cursed out the Almighty's name so many times it shouldn't be possible for him to be an angel anymore. But whatever sick game the Bastard was playing, Crowley was never looped in on. He never fell.

So he turned to his last option. He had wanted to fall the old fashioned way, part of him wanting to feel that familiar pain and know he earned it, but convincing the Antichrist to make him fall would have to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time moved differently for the two of them, since they had been around since, well, the beginning of it. He thought a month was sufficient time for Crowley to take a breather and get back to his senses. After that time had passed, he knocked on Crowley's door.

Crowley opened the door and for a moment, his face softened and he smiled. "Hey you."

Aziraphale blushed. "Hey you. Um, er, how are you? How've you been?"

"Still an angel, if that's what you're wondering," Crowley said bitterly.

"Oh, uh, that's good."

"Not for lack of trying, though," the bitter angel continued. "Believe me, I've tried."

"Well, maybe you really are more angel than you think, dear. I've always said—"

"I'm really not an angel," Crowley sneered. "Trust me."

"I don't want to get into this same argument again," Aziraphale said quietly.

"Why not? Because you still think you're better than me? Unless you change your mind, we're never going to stop arguing."

"We don't have to—"

"Well, did you change your mind?"

"There's nothing to change! It's just the way the world works," Aziraphale said sharply. "I'm sorry you don't agree, but there's Heaven and there's Hell. Good and Evil. It's literally in the job description."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "If you care so much about it go find another angel to date. You obviously hate consorting with demons so much."

"No! I don't—I won't—Crowley! That's unfair! You know I love you!"

"And I love you, but when has that ever changed anything? You chose your side over ours time and time again, and guess what? This time I choose mine over ours. You've made it very clear you just want it to be yours."

"We wouldn't need our own side if we were both on the same one!" Aziraphale said.

"We will never be on the same side, angel!" Crowley shouted. "Can't you get that through your head? I'm not an angel!"

"But you are—"

"Stop trying to make me something I'm not!" the new angel yelled. "I'm not ... I can't be what you want of me. I won't be. I refuse. Please leave." 

"Crowley—"

"I said leave! Get out! I don't ... I don't want to see you right now." Crowley hated seeing his angel hurt so, but he hurt worse. He had to protect himself, figure this all out before he could deal with Aziraphale. He was scared that maybe Aziraphale wasn't the person he thought he was. Maybe Aziraphale would never be okay with him being a demon.

A/n: I'm sorry, but I had to split them up for this next chapter ... I'm sorry! Also I know it's pretty out of character for Aziraphale to be so dismissive of Crowley's feelings, I guess, but you've got to keep in mind that Aziraphale views this as everything he ever wanted, a way they can finally be together with no fear, and he doesn't understand why Crowley refuses it. Anyway, sorry again for the angst! It'll only get worse from here ...