Ineffable Omens (Crowley x Aziraphale)

What Happened That Year (part 3)

Trigger warning: suicidality

"Oh, honey, you have to eat more than that!" his aunt said with a smile, piling mashed potatoes onto his plate. It was Thanksgiving, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. He hadn't been eating for the past month. Just a little bit here and there. He simply didn't have an appetite. The idea of food most of the time actually revolted him. He had to force himself to eat if he wanted to consume anything. He had put a small slice of Turkey on his plate just to be nice. He managed to force that down, but discreetly threw the rest away when no one was watching.

When dessert came, he figured it shouldn't be hard to force oneself to eat his favorite pie, but he was incredibly wrong. He forced down one bite and gave the rest to a younger cousin. He proceeded to spend the rest of Thanksgiving pretending to be asleep on the couch so people wouldn't try to talk to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam wasn't looking where he was walking, and he bumped into a kid in the hall.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Oh, Adam!" the person said happily.

Adam looked up to see Lucas grinning happily. It had been a month since the gym incident, and although they had both gym and calculus together, neither had spoken.

"Lucas," Adam said quietly. He hadn't spoken all day and his voice was rough.

"How've you been?"

"Don't pretend to care," Adam said, rolling his eyes and walking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later was his first attempt.

He told his parents he was having dinner with Wensleydale and he drove out to a bridge over the gorge. He parked his car, then walked out. He was numb, broken. So many things had led up to that point, and he couldn't go on. There were no more good days. Nothing to live for.

He had written a letter, but he hadn't been quite sure what to say.

Dear mom and dad,

It's not your fault. No one could've seen this coming. Hell, I didn't even see this coming. But I can't keep living this way, just surviving until tomorrow and then tomorrow ends up being just a shit as the previous day. I can't do it. I love you, but I can't do it. Tell Pepper I'm sorry. And Wensley and Brian. They won't care, but I'm sorry anyway.

Sincerely,
Me.

He stood out as the bridge, looking down at the deep chasm, water rushing over the rocks a long way down. His white knuckles gripped the railing, scared. This was what he wanted, right?

"You know, a lot of people come here to jump," a voice behind him said. "I hope you're just enjoying the view."

Adam turned around to see Lucas approaching him. He was going to say something, but he couldn't get the words out. Instead, more tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Adam, please don't do anything stupid," Lucas said, continuing to bridge the gap between them, eventually making his way to Adam's side and nervously patting him on the back, unsure of what to do. He had never been in this situation before, but when he saw Adam's car pull up (he lived right down the road) he had to do something. He didn't like to admit it, but Adam had been on his mind quite a lot.

Lucas lightly grabbed Adam's collar so if he were to make any sudden movements, he could catch him.

"What's going on, buddy?"

Adam choked on the words. "I'm not your buddy," he finally said. "I'm no one's ..." his voice trailed away again.

"Just step back, okay?" Lucas said softly, but Adam wouldn't let go of the railing. "You can make it through one more day, right?"

"That's all I've been doing. Just let me go-"

"Not a chance," Lucas said, grabbing onto Adam and holding him in his arms as the smaller boy struggled against him.

Eventually, Adam relaxed and the two stood there in silence.

"Come on," Lucas said, taking a step back and pulling Adam with him.