Not Very Angel At All

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"What do you mean, you don't want to be an angel?" Aziraphale asked softly. 

"I'm not one, ok?" Crowley snapped. "I'm not ... not cut out for this, okay? I'm not an angel, despite what you might think. Look, I love you, Zira, you know that. But if you want me to be something I'm not, that's one thing I cannot do. I just can't do that. I tried, but not even for you, okay? I am who I am, and I'm a demon."

"But you were an angel once—"

"And I fell. Granted, I didn't want to, necessarily, but I did. And then I changed. Over 6,000 years, people tend to do that, y'know. I'm not the same person I was. And I'm sorry if you think all your dreams came true—that I'm finally the angel you always thought I could be—but that's not me, and I won't do it. Maybe you haven't gotten it through your thick skull yet, but I'm not nice. I'm a demon, Aziraphale! A bloody demon and if you can't accept that—"

"Then what? So I'm the fool for seeing the best in people?"

"You want me to be something I'm not!"

"But you are, Crowley!" Aziraphale fought back. "You're a beautiful angel and if you could just see that—"

"Was I not a beautiful demon?" 

Aziraphale was silent, and Crowley's heart broke.

"There. That's all I needed. You angels always think you're better than us. You're not, we're just two different sides. Two choices for humanity. I don't get a choice, but I chose our side. If you want me to choose your side, then I just can't. I choose mine."

"Crowley—"

"I'm done playing nice. I'm done being good."

"But you are good, Crowley! I know this is a change, but I see it in you. You just have to get used to it, alright?"

"You think I have it in me to be an angel?" Crowley sneered. "Well then what if you had it in you to be a demon. You're not the saint you pretend to be, angel. You're not like the rest of them. Always down here, tempting people for me. Questioning the almighty—"

"That's different!"

"How is that different? I think you'd make a beautiful demon."

"It's just different, y'know! You should be proud to be an angel! You've risen. You're holy, you're ... it's wonderful, Crowley, if you just gave it a chance ..."

"Rise and fall are just words, Aziraphale. You're not better than me. Is that what you think? I'm some lowly demon scum and now you don't have to be ashamed anymore. I thought you saw through all that but I guess I was wrong. I guess I was horribly, horribly wrong."

"I love you, Crowley."

"That doesn't change a thing," Crowley spat. "You've always hated that I'm a demon. You've always hated me."

"That's not true!"

"Goodbye, Aziraphale."

"Crowley!" Aziraphale called out, but he was already gone. 

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