Jayla (My Story)

Bringing Mama Home

The day Mama got to come home was a great day. I could tell she was tired and still hurting but she was always so strong for us.

   Mama's grown kids took turns staying at the house with us so they could help her with everything and take care of us. It was hard for mama to let someone take care of her. She has never been one to ask for help but she wasn't able to bathe herself and she had to have help with the tube in her chest. After mama went for her radiation treatment her hair started to fall out. Mama had thick red hair that flowed down her back once it started to fall out mama decided to cut it. She would brush it and it would fall out by the handfuls and Mama would cry. Eventually she was completely bald. She started wearing wigs which I liked to wear myself.
  
One night all Mama's kids were at the house. For the first time in a long time our home was filled with laughter and life. Mama was still very weak and sick from the chemo and radiation treatments but she was still with us and happy.
     We were all sitting outside on the front porch when the phone rings. My Aunt Julie comes out and whispers to the rest. Suddenly the laughter and happiness is gone and replaced by a dark sadness.
    "Should we tell her?" My aunt ask everyone else.
  " I don't know if she can handle it right now." My uncle stated
   " If we don't you know how mad she will be when she finds out." My dad stated.
    Mama's small voice cuts through the whispers and everyone quickly turned to her.
     " What's wrong?" Mama asked "Who was on the phone?
   " Mama I think u should come have a seat." Uncle Grady said

Mama took a seat on the couch. We all knew whatever this news was it wasn't anything good.

" That was aunt Opal, she was calling about old nanny." Uncle Grady said softly taking Mama's hand in his.
  " What's wrong with mama?" She asked tears already flowing down her cheeks.
    It was deathly silent for a few seconds as everyone just looked between each other.
    "She passed away." He told her
Mama breaks down again. She slowly gets up from the couch and makes her way to her bedroom.
      Sitting there listening to everyone talk about if she was strong enough to keep going or if she will give up I started to worry myself. So I did the only thing I knew to do... I prayed.
       Dear God, Its me again. I know you may be tired of hearing me but I don't know what else to do. I thank you for letting me keep mama after she was sick. Now they say she may not be able to handle everything and she is still fighting. Lord please take care of mama. I need her I don't want to loose my mama. I know you can heal her sickness and sadness. At least that's what the preacher says. He says that when life gets to dark to see you will be the light to guide our way. And when we can't walk on you will carry us. I really hope that's true because I think mama needs you to carry her. Thank you God. I love you, in Jesus' name I pray amen.
      
      The next day Mama got up and fixed breakfast. Her eyes were red and bloodshot from crying. She moved around the kitchen slowly like she wasn't really there. I was so worried about her. All I could think about was how happy she used to be. All I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were just months before. In my little mind it seemed like darkness consumed our lives over night. I often wondered why bad things happened to people. The preacher always said everything happens for a reason. That God has a plan. I just couldn't see it. What could his plan be for this? Was he going to take mama away? At that moment it seemed like he already had.
    " Mama" I whispered
" Yes, Jayla"
"Are you OK" I asked afraid of what her answer would be .
Mama sat down at the table and looked far away for a moment before she pulled out the chair beside her.
"Come here baby." She said and I went to sit with her.
"No baby, Mama's not OK right now. Mama's body still hurts and right now Mama's heart hurts." she told me. "but I will be OK. It just takes time to be OK when bad thing happen. It won't be too long and we will be laughing and playing again. It's just not that time yet. OK."
"OK mama, you promise?" I asked
"Yes Jayla I promise."
Mama wasn't able to go to old nanny's funeral because she was to sick and weak but everyday she got stronger. It was about two weeks before Christmas and mama took us to see Santa.
"And what do you want for Christmas little girl?" He asked
There was only two things in the whole world that I could think of. "All I want this year is for my mama to be OK again and for my daddy to come home." I said as I looked up at santa.
"Oh," he said sadly " that's a very special request, I can't make any promises but Santa will do his very best ok."
"OK, thank you Santa." I said and ran back over to where my mama and my sisters were waiting.
"What did you ask for?" Mama questioned
"I asked for the best thing in the whole world." I said smiling. With God and Santa something good had to happen.
Christmas morning my sisters and I woke up to more presents than we had ever had. Somehow Santa had left gifts for us at the church that we and mama went to every Sunday and Wednesday for as long as I could remember. There was board games and bikes. Clothes and Bibles. And a new CD player with CDs. Mama was so happy and so were we. It was so good to see her smile again. Mama kept her promise she was OK.

My (a) dad had moved in with Ella and took mama to court to fight for custody of us. Of course they tried to use cancer agenst her but in the end mama won. Life seemed to finally slow down. During the week we stayed with mama and on the weekends we went to (a) dad's house. It once again seemed like everything was gonna be OK.