1997 was over and done and I couldn't be more happy about it. 98 is gonna be great. That sounded like a good attitude to start the new year with. I'm going to claim it and live it. I told myself.
So far my resolution wasn't working out. I decided I would live my life and let everyone else live theirs. My sisters and I were all teens now and we were all fighting our own demons and battles in our lives.
Jess was going through a rebellion stage. Anything she could do that was agenst authority she did. She smoked, cussed at mama and skipped school. She had been put on administrative probation for truancy. She fought with me over everything. She wanted space so I left her alone.
Jena hated living at home now and wanted to move in with Jona. She and Mama did not get along at all. I think Jena thought if she was bad enough to mama she would get to move. I guess it worked too. Mama had signed guardianship back to Jona. I hated to see her go but at least she could find some happiness now. It seemed like we were all going in different directions.
I too had my own issues. I had started sneaking Jess's cigarettes and smoking. I didn't fight with Mama though. I didn't have it in me. When I looked at her I still saw that lady that took me in and worked so hard with me. Refusing to believe that I was hopeless. That fragile woman that had to fight for life. We all saw Mama had changed. Her whole attitude had changed. She was a woman scorned by life.
Mama spent most of her days and some nights at Winston's house. So we had the house to ourselves most of the time.
Back then there was no such thing as social media but there was a chat line.
You would call the number. Make a discription message. You then listen to messages made by other people and if your heard something you like you would send messages back and forth. If you chose to you could live chat one on one or just exchange numbers.
We all would do this and had friends from everywhere. There didn't seemed to be a problem with it until.
"Jayla get up!" Mama yelled. It was time to get up for school. I slowly get up and start getting ready for the day.
" Where the hell is Jess?" Mama asked.
" She not in her bed? " I asked
" No she had her damn pillows laid out and covered up." She said
" I know she didn't leave without telling you where she was going." She yelled at me.
"Mama I really don't know. I didn't even know she left." I replied
" Bullshit she had to leave through that damn door." She pointed at the door in my bedroom. "Well I'm calling the police." She said and went and got the phone.
Mama was right it was not like Jess not to tell me she was leaving. She didn't always tell me where she was going but she never just left. Jess had blocked me out but every since that night at the motel she tried to stop me from worrying so much about her.
The police came and went through her room and found her journal where she wrote all about her and Mama arguing and calling each other names.
" How long have you and your daughter been fighting like this?" The officer asked Mama.
"Since her Dad left me. I think she blames me for him leaving and she wants to live with him but she can't. She started fighting me about everything calling me a bitch and threatening to hit me and stuff."Mama told him
"She says here that you called her a whore and threatened to hit her." He replied
" Ya because these girls sit here on that damn chat line and talk to boys and I'm fed up with it." She said
"Ok. Well so you know these guys she was talking to?" He asked
"Ask her she always tells her everything." Mama said pointing at me
"I don't know she don't talk to me like she used to. She's kinda isolated herself. She's just dealing with alot in her own mind. But she has a list of numbers in her room." I told him
"OK I understand. Do you think you could find it?" He asked
I went into Jess's room to look for her list. When I walked in I saw her picture collage on her wall. Most of them were taken at the motel and trailer park. What I had not realized before was I was in most of them. We looked like best friends instead of sisters. I turned away and wiped the tear running down my face. I look in her pillow case first since that was where she normally kept it. Luckily it was still there I was afraid she had taken it with her.
Dear lord I know we haven't spoken in awhile. It may seem like the only time I pray anymore is when I need you. I really don't mean for it to be that way. Lord I know you are able to bring her safely home. Please lord guide me. I need to find her before something happens to her. In Jesus name Amen.
I sat down on the porch swing with the cordless phone and started with the first name. It rings three times no one answers. I moved on to the next one.
" Hello" a ladies voice said.
" Yes ma'am I'm looking for my sister Jess she wouldn't happen to be there would she?" I asked desperately.
" No honey there's no one here by that name." She said. " But if she happens to show up here I will call you. Is this number OK?"
"Yes ma'am and thank you." I replied.
I called another number and another lady answered that hadn't seen her.
God you said ask and it shall be done. Please lord let me find her.
The phone rings. I answer it quickly.
"Jess?" I asked
" Yea."
" Look mama has called the police and (b) daddy and Julie's here. Where are you? Why did you leave?"
" I'm in Riverdale, and I'm not coming home if I have to live with Mama." She answered. " I'm sorry Jayla I wouldn't leave you but I can't live with her."
"OK I love you and miss you Jess." I said and handed the phone to mama.
Mama told her that she could stay with Aunt Julie if she came home.
Finally Jess was home but she was packing some things to take to Julie's house. While she did this I went and sat on her bed. I didn't want her to go but I knew the way things were going in the house it was best for both her and Mama. I didn't want to be left alone.
"Jayla, don't cry you'll make me cry. I'm just going to Julie's and it's only for a while." She told me sitting down beside me.
" I know and I understand why you can't stay here but I just don't want to loose you Jess. We have been through so much together." I cried
" Stop Jayla, your not loosing me. I'll call you every day and if you need to talk to me all you have to do is call. I'll always be here for you and I'll always be your big sister." She said and hugged me
" Ya but I act like the big sister." I said
"Sisters by blood." She said quoting a plaque she gave me.
"Friends by choice." I said and with that I watched her leave.
YOU ARE READING
Jayla (My Story)
Non-FictionThis is a story of the tests of life and faith. Even before she was born life had it in for Jayla. Death, cancer and divorce are just some of the battles she would face as a small child. Then as a teen her life turned into a nightmare. As Jayla live...
