Jayla (My Story)

Life goes on

   After Jack left I was able to relax. Is it crazy that I wanted so much to try with him. Not for myself there was no love there. I wanted my baby to have both his parents but that just wasn't possible. I fought with myself which is worse a bad father or none at all? How can you make an educated decision on this. If there was one thing I've learnt through my life it's that situations were received, thought of, and delt with differently for everyone. Three girls the same life completely different perspectives. I didn't know but what I did know was it was my job to keep my baby safe and that's what I was going to do.

I was now in ninth grade in school. Yes, ninth. I had failed fifth. Damn multiplication facts I tried so hard to retain the information but I just couldn't.
   
    I had talked with my mom about going to a tech college that offered GED classes. I wasn't ashamed of being pregnant and I wasn't worried about being teased. That was apart of my everyday life having FSP. I was just worried how safe it was. Some of the kids that I went to school with were really hateful. They would trip me up so they could laugh when I fell. I wasn't willing to take the chance of hurting my Jax.

I walked into the hall to where my friends my were. They were hanging by the lockers like always.

"Kathy." I call walking up to her.

" What's up bitch?  Who did you spend the weekend with" she asked wiggling her eyebrows. I loved her she was absolutely crazy.

"You are such a smutt slut." I said laughing.

" How am I a slut if I don't get any? You never give dirty deets. I don't even know why im your friend." She replied

" Well unlike some of us Jay don't kiss and tell." Brice said from being me.

" OK now that y'all are both here I have something to tell y'all." I said as the bell rang.

Everyone started moving to their homeroom classes. Kathy and Brice turned to run as well.

" Guys wait look I'm not going to class today I'm only here to withdraw." I said quickly

" What? I can't hear you." Kathy shouted above the noise. " Lunch OK? Love you Jay."  Then they were gone.

I didn't care if I told the rest of the group but Kathy and Brice were my best friends. I wanted them to know I wouldn't be back at school anymore. There was nothing I could do now mama was waiting. She had agreed to let me go get my GED but that didn't mean I got any kind of break. I was withdrawn and registered on the same day.

One of the teachers for the class was Mrs. Hamby, she was one of those unique Christians that you find. A rose amongst the many thorns. She didn't judge. It's hard to find a christian that didn't have a handful of rocks just waiting to stone a sinner but she didn't. She had open arms and an open heart. She worked with me everyday the things I had a hard time with she would go over again and again until I got it and she never showed an ounce of aggravation.

    After studying she would talk about life and God. She told me that it didn't matter what choices we had made or what we had went through in our lives we didnt have to let that become who we are.
      " You wake up every morning with choices. What to eat or wear. How you want to style your hair. But most importantly you choose what am I going to do today or say. Who am I going to be today." She told me. I thought that was kind of silly at the time
     " everyday I wake up without a choice of who to be. I am Jayla a pregnant teen with scars." I said to her with no intention of explaining myself and she didn't push.

" Well that's just a part of who you are Jayla. When I look at you I don't just see a pregnant teen that has obviously been through some things in her life. I see a beautiful young lady that is strong, confident, smart, and loving. Someone who has beat life at its own game. Don't make the mistake of letting thing that happened to you become who you are." She said and sat there for a few minutes lost in thought.