Jayla (My Story)

mind games

The next morning I woke up to a knock on the door. The nurse walked in with what they call breakfast. Hospital food is something I could live the rest of my life without. She left the plate and walked out as mama walked in with Jax in her arms.

" He's so sweet." She said handing him to me.

" I know. And he's funny too watch" I told her and touched the side of his face and just like the night before he chased my finger with his mouth. I laughed

" He's hungry." Mama laughed handing me the the little bottle of formula the hospital had given me.
He sucked so hard his cheeks sunk in.

" What's wrong?"mama asked looking at me

" I was just thinking they wanted me to breast feed. The way he tears up that bottle. I don't think so." I said shaking my head and mama's laughter filled the room. I know I'm younger and may be alittle childish but dang that looked like it would really hurt.

At that time Jeff walked in with breakfast from MC Donald's. It smelled so good. They had the best chicken biscuits.

He picked up Jaxon and sat down at the table with him. As I ate I watch him play with Jax. Making faces and noises. I couldnt help but laugh.

" What I know how to handle babies. I have two remember." He said

" Of course and when are they coming to see me?" I asked. I loved his kids and they loved me. The phone ringing startled me. I reach to the table and picked it up.

" Hello." I said

" I'm on my way up. We need to talk." His voice pierced my soul. Then the line went dead.

" Well I am late for work. I'll be back as soon as I get off." Jeff said.

" Um...OK.. that was Jack he's here." I said

" Do you want me to stay?" Jeff asked me sincerely. His eyes filled with doubt.

" No it'll be fine. What can he do in a hospital room? And if he does what better place for me to be." I said trying to lighten the mood.

" Don't joke about that it's not funny." He said kissing my head and he left.

A few minutes later the door opened and he walked in with his dad and grandmother.

He walks over to the bed where I'm holding Jax and his face fills with that grin I hate.

" Looks like me." He said.

" Don't worry I'm sure he will out grow it." I replied

He looks over at mama then back to me. " Can we talk alone?" He asked

" Are you serious? You think I'm stupid? Hell no I'm not gonna be alone with you." I snapped at him.

" Can I at least hold my son?" He asked. Reluctantly I handed him my life. Watching his every move with my finger on the nurse button.

After they all held him and took pictures. They handed him back to me and got ready to leave.

" We will be talking." Jake said and he walked out.

The next day I got to go home. I took my baby and laid on my bed with him. The best feeling in the world. Everyone said I was gonna be sore and hardly able to walk but that wasn't the case. I actually felt fine. The incision was tender but it wasn't a problem. I took the ibpropheran they sent me home with but never needed the Lortab.

It had been six weeks of being mom. I absolutely love it. I'm tired but it's so worth it. Feeling the love of you baby is amazing. The way he looks at me and smiles. Cries for my touch. The way my voice soothes him when nothing else does. I look at my baby and wonder how any mother could not love their baby. I had never understood Jona but now that my life had  brought here I really didn't understand. The phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. I jumped up to go answer it but felt the pull of the incision. Dang I forgot about that. I slowly made my way to the phone.
" Hello" I answered.