Jayla (My Story)

Loosing Jess

My (A) dad and Ella had separated. Is it wrong to say I was happy about that? Well, I was. I really didn't like her. Dad found out that Ella lied about being pregnant. She had gotten a friend of her who was pregnant to take a test for her. I don't really know the story there. All I know is that they were no longer together and (a) dad had moved into a motel room.

Dad came and picked us up for the weekend. The room was small but nice. It had two big beds and a TV. In the kitchen area it had a small refrigerator and a microwave oven and a sink. Then there was of course the tiny bathroom. Good thing I wasn't claustrophobic.

We sat on the bed watching TV eating pistachios and drinking Pepsi. After awhile my dad asked
" Y'all getting hungry?"

" Ya." We all said.

"Well let's go to the Waffle House then." He said and got up to leave. We all followed behind him. We walked in and sat down at the booth. A waitress comes and takes our orders. "I want a waffle covered in butter a syrup please." I said

" Coming right up, and for y'all." She asked looking between Jess and Jena.

They gave there orders and the waitress left. After we had finished eating we went back to the motel room to get ready for bed. I hated the thought of all three of us sleeping in the same bed. Jess was a cuddler. Even with only two in a bed you might go to sleep on either side but before morning you wouldn't be able to tell where she ended and you began. She would throw her arm and leg over you and you'd just be trapped. Ugh! It's gonna be a long night.

The next morning sure enough I woke up practically under Jess. And I had to pee. I couldn't move and she wouldn't wake up. I should just pee on her I thought. I probably could have gotten away with it too considering I'd had occasional night accidents up until I was nine. The doctors said it was nerves. Better not Jess would beat the crap out of me. I forced her arm off of me and slid myself out from under her leg. Finally I ran to the bathroom.

(A) Daddy had to work today so we were left with Jess. Which meant we were all on our own. It got so boring in that room.
" Hey, y'all wanna go swim?" Jess asked.
" Yes!" I yelled and jumped up ready to go. I'd loose my mind stuck in that room with nothing to do but watch TV. We didn't bring our suits so we had to swim in shorts and a tee shirt but I didn't care. I wasn't one to even wear shorts. I didn't like to show my legs because of the way I walked.

When we got to the pool there was other kids out there. As we swam and played we got to know the other kids who's parents also lived in the motel. There was also some that lived in the trailer park that was behind the motel.

It was nice having friends there and weekend after weekend we would go and hang out with our new friends.
We had gotten used to the weekend routine at dad's house. Every Saturday morning dad would leave for work and he would leave us twenty dollars each to get something to eat. Which we would spend at the Burger King or Dairy Queen since they were in waking distance to the motel. Once dad left so did we. We would walk to the trailer park and meet friends and hang out all day and sometimes half the night.
If dad got home before we did he would leave the door cracked so we could get in.
Jess started growing away from me she was like a different person now that she was hanging with her new friends. We didn't hang out anymore she didn't talk to me like she used to. I started worrying about her. These new friends seemed like trouble. They smoked and cussed. Lord only knew what else they did. Jess was now fourteen and I was just her annoying little twelve year old sister.
One weekend Jena went to Jona's house so it was just Jess and I at (a) dad's house. It was late and Dad still hadn't got home yet. Jess was about to leave.
" Where are you going?" I asked her.
" What are you Dad now?" She answered
" No, Dad wouldn't ask but I don't wanna be here by myself." I said
" You'll be find Jayla your not a baby anymore. Go hang with your friends or something." She told me as she walked towards the door.
" I love you Jess, I worry about you." I told her.

She stopped and turned to look at me.
" Well dont. No one else does so why the hell should you?" She asked and closed the door behind her.
I waited a few seconds after she left then ran to the door. I watched her walk a few rooms down from ours. She knocked on the door and a man came out.

" I didn't think you would actually come." I heard the man say then he turned back to his door. " Hey man she came. Come on in you want a beer? He asked
Jess walked in and they shut the door.

I waited awhile for her to come back out but it had too long and she was still there. I knew she was going to be furious with me for what I was about to do but I had to do something. It was this or call Dad. I would try this first. So I gathered all my courage and knocked on the door.

The door swung open and a guy was standing there looking at me like I was crazy.

"Are you lost?" He slurred.

"No, Im here to talk to Jess." I said

" She can't come to the door right now." He said laughing

" OK I'll just get my dad." I said and turned like I was gonna leave.

" No wait hold on." he said and shut the door.
A minute later Jess comes out. She is mad at me. Oh well.

" What the hell,Jayla" she said " why are you here? Why won't you just leave me alone?" She whisper yelled at me.

" Jess please come home. What are you even doing here and have you been drinking?" I pleaded with her.

" I'm not coming home and what I do is none of your business. Now go away and leave me alone." She said through gritted teeth.

" No. I won't and if you go back in I'm calling Dad." I told her.

" Go ahead and I will beat the shit out of you." She said and went back inside.

I slid down the wall and sat on the concrete walk. Tears flowing I didn't know what to do. I knew she was crying out for help but what could I do. When she said she would beat me she was serious. I think I forgot how to grow when (A) dad left because after three years I was still four foot tall and I had lost all my weight. I wasn't Fat Baby anymore. Jess on the other hand she stress ate. So now she had gained alot of weight and she was always taller than me.

What can I do? Jess please just come home where you're safe. I know you think no one cares or loves you but I do. What will I do without you? Who would I turn to then? I need you. Your my best friend. Through everything that's happened we have always been there for each other. Why won't you let me help you now........ God please watch over my sister and keep her safe.

I don't know how long I sat there in the silence of the night. Just listening to make sure she didn't scream. I don't know what I would have done had she screamed but thank God I didn't have to find out. Suddenly the door opens and Jess stumbled out. I knew she had been drinking by the smell on her and the way she walked. I followed her back to the room where she laid down. As soon as she hit the pillow she was out. I went to her bookbag that she carried everywhere with her and found her body spray. I sprayed some in the air,on the bed and on her to cover the smell of alcohol. If she knew I did that she would have probably fussed at me for wasting it. That's what you get for being stupid. I thought with a smile. I laid down beside her on the bed but I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her while she slept and I wouldn't wake up. So I just laid there looking at the ceiling and listened to her snore.

" You may not believe it Jess but I do love you and you may not want me to but I'll always be here for you." I whispered to her while she slept.

I would never turn my back on her no matter what. I would fight for my sister even if it was her I had to fight against. I really hated the feeling of loosing Jess.