How to Fall Apart

Chapter Twelve

When I woke up in the morning I had two texts from Kenny.

I was only joking. Read the first text. He must have been waiting for a response because the time of the next text was fifteen minutes later. My favorite color is black. I half smiled at my phone but still felt a little annoyed. I wasn't sure what to say back so I just left it alone. I'd hoped that question would lead into an actual conversation with more questions so I could learn something about him. But if just finding out his favorite color was this difficult I wasn't sure I'd learn much more about him by playing 20 questions via text. My lack of response must have bothered him because later in English class my phone chirped. I'd forgotten to put it on vibrate like I usually did, thankfully our teacher wasn't paying attention because we weren't supposed to have our phones on in class.

"Oooohhh, bad girl." Nate teased from his usual seat next to me. I smiled and rolled my eyes at him and then checked the text. I bet I can guess your favorite color. I switched my phone to vibrate.

Oh really? I texted back, trying to look like I wasn't texting. Mr. Mason was sitting at his desk grading papers and we were supposed to be working on our essays. Nate dug into his bag and a piece of spearmint gum landed on my desk. When I looked up to thank him he was talking quietly to the girl that was sitting on the other side of him, Lily something or other. She was pretty in the too much makeup and knows she's pretty kind of way. He handed her a piece of gum and for some reason a surge of jealousy pulsed through me. The gum thing was a little thing but it was our thing. Not that it meant anything, he was just a sort of friend and it was just gum. My phone vibrated in my hand and I turned my attention back to Kenny.

What do I get if I guess right? He asked.

What do you want? I didn't realize how flirty it sounded until after I sent it, then I smiled, feeling a little proud of myself as my flirting game was usually pretty weak. So weak that I could only do it on accident.

A picture. He replied right away. That was innocent enough and I didn't think he would guess anyway so I agreed. Your favorite color is that blue green color. A few minutes later, while I was still staring at my screen in surprise, he text me again. The color in your room... I don't know the girl name for it. If he didn't know the name for teal that should be a loophole, but I doubted that would work. And anyway, while I wasn't big on taking selfies, I was having a great hair day and even had a little makeup on. 

I asked Mr. Mason if I could use the restroom and he handed me the pass. I wouldn't have been the first girl to take a selfie in class, in fact I probably wouldn't have been the only one that day in third period English, but I decided to go to the bathroom instead. There was a younger classmen in there washing her hands and I waited until she left, applied a fresh coat of clear lip gloss- like it made a difference- and snapped a couple of pictures. I sent one to Kenny and then decided while I was in the bathroom, I might as well use it. My phone buzzed when I was washing my hands.

Gorgeous, but not the kind of picture I was talking about, babe. My cheeks burned red when the realization dawned on me. I had never sent that kind of picture to anyone and I wasn't about to start! When I was in middle school I had gone to an after school program where they taught us sex education, saying no to drugs and the usual stuff they drill into 'tweens. The middle school group leader was a bit nutty but mostly pretty cool. She spent a few days discussing appropriate use of technology like social media and cell phones. While clearly not everything she taught me stuck, I remembered that even taking pictures of myself naked was considered child porn and could come with some hefty consequences like being a registered sex offender. No way was I going to get myself put on some list with old men who raped little kids.