How to Fall Apart

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I was feeling warm and a little more than fuzzy by the time we pulled up at an unfamiliar house. There were over a dozen other cars parked in the driveway and on the street. The house was lit up with people and music spilling out the front door.

    "Where are we?" I asked, not recognizing any of the people standing outside smoking.

    "Kyle's house. You met him before." I vaguely recalled the gangly kid from Falling Rock. As we walked up to the house, I saw some people that I thought I might recognize from school. Lily, from my English class, was sitting on the stairs right inside the doorway talking with a few other girls. I was surprised when she smiled at me because I'd always just assumed that she didn't like me. I smiled back and then some guy that Alissa knew pushed red plastic cups filled with beer into our hands. We quickly discarded the still full cups onto an end table already littered with some empty ones. I didn't even know who he was, I was definitely not taking a drink from him. We started making our way through the crowd of sweaty bodies and of course everybody knew Alissa. Every few steps she took someone stopped her to say hi. But then Carly's friend, Bella, came up to me.

    "Veda! Hey!" She gave me a big hug. We shouted over the music a little bit and then Alissa pulled on my arm. We made it a few steps further and I felt a tug on my other arm. I turned to see Jed.

    "Hey, are Nate and Carly with you?" He asked hopefully. I shook my head and he looked disappointed. I told him I'd find him later and then let Alissa drag me off. We got stopped one more time on our way to the kitchen by a girl from my art class. It was a little more quiet in the kitchen and Alissa spun around to face me.

    "Well aren't you just Miss Popular," she teased proudly. I had certainly come along way from the first party she'd brought me to. I rolled my eyes and spun her back around and right into the arms of James.

    "Bout time you got here." He claimed her lips with his own. "Veda." He took my hand and kissed the back of it like he did the night I met him. Alissa went to the table where some other of their friends were congregated and mixed us a drink from the contents of her bag. I accepted mine gratefuly and took a long drink, draining half the cup. One for Mom. Then I figured I might as well finish the drink while Alissa still had the bottle and soda out. One for me. She hesitated before filling my cup again and skimped a little on the rum. I didn't even care because I was already well on my way to being drunk.

    Erica was sitting at the table, sharing a chair with Maddy. She was wearing a gorgeous dark blue dress that clung to her chest and then fell loosely down her torso and hips where it clung to her thighs. She looked amazing in it and when she noticed me looking she shot me a dirty look.

    "What?" She sneered at me.

    "Nothing, you just look great." I smiled sincerely. She narrowed her eyes at me, unsure of how to take the compliment.

    "Whatever," she finally said, giving me a dirty look and turning away. I leaned against the counter a few feet away from the table and turned my attention to my drink.

    "You look great too," I told the glass and it didn't turn away from me.

    "Are you talking to a cup?" Kenny asked, sidling up to me. Of course he was here. I didn't know why I was surprised.

    "Yep. That's about where my social skills are at right now." I told him after taking another drink. This one for him. He chuckled and tipped back his beer.

          I took the opportunity to take a long look at him. He made me tingle in places I never had before and made my stomach do back flips but beyond that I did not like how he made me feel. I remembered what my Mom had said about how your feelings can lead you in the wrong direction and to make sure that I'm thinking and not just feeling. I was feeling rather fuzzy then but one thing was very clear to me in that moment; whatever thing I had going with Kenny, I was over it. He slid his arm around my waist, fingers skimming the bare skin above my jeans and I shivered but stepped out of his embrace. The look on his face registered somewhere between confused and annoyed. I finished my drink leaving the cup on the table and pulled Alissa off James's lap. I dragged her toward the sweaty gyrating crowd in the living room.