How to Fall Apart

Chapter Seven

Monday morning I was sitting in English class in the back corner, still exhausted from the Halloween party. I was doodling the design from the back of the shirt of the guy sitting in front of me in my notebook when Nathan/Nate slid into the seat next to me.

"Hey Veda." He beamed at me like we were old friends.

"Oh, hi Nath... Nate," I smiled shyly back.

"That's cool." He nodded at my drawing while unwrapping two pieces of gum. "Want one?" He offered me the pack after he popped both pieces into his mouth.

"No thanks, I'm not a fan of peppermint," I told him.

"What do you like?" He asked, pulling four more packs of gum out of his backpack like some kind of gum dealer. I laughed and took a piece of spearmint.

"Thanks." Mr. Mason started class then so he put his packs of gum back in his bag, flashing me another smile and then giving his undivided attention to the teacher. I sneaked a few peeks at him throughout class, he was really good looking in an all American boy next door type of way, especially with that dimple dancing on his cheek while he chewed his gum. Different from the way Kenny was good looking. I wasn't sure why I was comparing the two. Nate was just my coworker's brother and Kenny was... well, what was Kenny? He wasn't my boyfriend exactly but he sure had marked his territory at the party. Alissa might be onto something with this whole no dating thing, relationships were complicated.

I was only further confused by relationships throughout the week. Sometimes Kenny would completely ignore me and I knew it wasn't that he was too busy, he didn't work and was only taking a couple classes at Western Dakota Tech. Then other days he was blowing up my phone, texting me and telling me that he missed me and wanting to know when he could see me next. It was like a game and I didn't understand the rules. It was really very distracting.

"What's your deal?" Alissa asked me at lunch that Friday. "You've been a cranky bitch all week!" She said sweetly as though she was telling my that she liked my shirt. I threw a french fry at her in response. "Hey now, you can be a bitch, but you cannot waste food!" She picked up the french fry from her lap and stuffed it into her mouth. "Is this about Kenny?" She finally asked when I kept pouting.

"No. Yes. Kind of." I dipped a french fry in the ketchup and used it to draw on the tray. She just raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to elaborate. "I feel like he's playing games. Like I'm some toy for his amusement. He ignores me for days and then texts me that he misses me. If he missed me then why has he waited three days to text me?!"

"See... this is exactly why I do not do relationships. They get you all messed up in the head and ruin your day. You could be enjoying this beautiful day with your hot lunch date, but instead you're being a cranky bitch because some boy is playing games with your head. You want to know what I think?" She asked in a way that told me she didn't care whether or not I wanted to know, she was going to tell me anyway. "You need to play the game. Make him wait, make him jealous, make him want you more."

"But I don't want to play a game! I suck at games! Why can't it just be simple?" I whined.

"It's never simple with guys like Kenny." She took another one of my fries and swiped it through the ketchup picture I had been drawing.

"Well I don't want to like that kind of guy, why do I even like him?!" I wasn't expecting her to answer that as I hadn't really been able to answer it myself. Aside from the whole flip flop thing my stomach did every time I got near him.

"Because he's hot," she answered matter of factly.

"Well if you think he's so hot then why didn't you two ever...?" I trailed off, curious but trying not to sound jealous.